Bob Moss
by vader13289
Summary: Bob Ross turns into Bob Moss somehow. Rated M for Memes
1. Prologue

"Dear Lord, it's rabid!", the Animal-Control Guy yelled in fear. A rabid GamingGrass was sitting in front of him growling. The GamingGrass got up and started barking at him. "Hey, what's up guys! GamingGrass here!", the GamingGrass said. The Animal-Control Guy ran back to his truck. He got on his walkie-talkie. "Help!", he yelled into it. "Wut.", the voice on walkie-talkie said. "I need Bob Ross!", the Animal-Control Guy yelled.


	2. Chapter 1

The dank lord Bob Ross woke up. He was dreaming about how he faked his death in 1995 to go on to fulfill his true dream, being an Animal-Control Guy. He got up to use the bathroom. Suddenly, he realized his hotel room was covered in goat blood and Blu-Ray copies of X-Men: Apocalypse. "Wait a second.", he said to himself. "What am I doing in a hotel room?" "Dear Neptune, what happened last night?", he said quietly. The last thing he could remember was seeing Taylor Swift in concert. Suddenly, his phone started to ring. "Ross residence.", he said. His manager started to explain to him that a rabid GamingGrass had taken hostages, "I'll be there in sixty seconds.", Ross said as he slipped his shirt on.

Sixty Seconds Later…

Bob Ross arrived at the scene. He asked his manager where the hostages where and she pointed to a 7/11. Bob kicked down the door. The GamingGrass was over by the slushie machine, holding an AR-15 to one of the Hostage's heads. "Put down the gun.", Ross quietly said to the GamingGrass. "I'm warning ya man, I'll shoot all these if ya don't subscribe!",the GamingGrass yelled back. Suddenly, Bob Ross whipped out an invisible AK-47 and shot the Gaming Grass in the chest. The GamingGrass fell over. Bob Ross ran up to comfort it in its final moments. "How do you feel?", Bob said. The GamingGrass responded with a bite on Ross' arm.

Ross punched it in the face, ending it's life. Bob Ross ran out of the 7/11 and up to his manager. "I got bit real bad and I-..", Bob Ross said before being cut off by his manager. "What about the hostages?!", she yelled. "The'll be fine." "What about the bomb?!" "What Bo-" Suddenly, the 7/11 exploded in flames. "Oops.", Bob Ross said.


	3. Chapter 2

"Fired!", Bob Ross thought. He was at his favorite bar, "I Don't Know". "Give me some moar Docta Peppa!", he yelled at the bartender. "We don't serve that here sir.", the bartender responded. "This is bullcrap!", Ross yelled as he left the bar. He sat down on the curb outside and looked at his wound. For some reason, it was turning green. "Man, I need some spaghets.", he said to himself. He got up and went looking for a spaghet-shack.

"Sir, Bob Ross is approaching the alley.", Dylan said to his master, Caleb. "Excellent.", Caleb said with glee. "Here, have a cookie." He through the cookie at Dylan and walked off. "No one messes with the Real Boy Squad and lives.", he thought.


	4. Chapter 3

Bob Ross descended into the alley behind Teddy Jazzzbear's Spaghetti Shack. Suddenly, two men approached. "Hey man, I already paid El Santiago his money.", Ross said. The two men pulled down their hoods to reveal their faces. He knew they weren't part of Santiago's gang. He'd seen everyone in it when they beat him up last March. Suddenly, another man materialized behind him and put a bag over his head.

"Take it off.", the voice in front of Bob Ross said quietly. The three men had taken him somewhere in the sewers. On the trip down, he had started feeling something change in his body. Suddenly, one of the men pulled of the bag on his head. Ross looked in front of him. A person stood there. He wore a red robe. "Must be the leader.", Ross thought. He saw a nametag on his left nipple. It said "Caleb". "Bob Ross, you are accused of the murder of GamingGrass.", Caleb said. "How do you plead?"


	5. Chapter 4

"Fine, I admit it!", Bob Ross yelled at the top of his lungs. "So, you finally admit to the murder of GamingGrass?", Caleb said. "No, I'M THE ONE WHO PUT THE LIVE-ACTION SHOWS ON CARTOON NETWORK!", a sobbing Ross said. "That tears it!", Caleb yelled. "Bring out the big guns!" Suddenly, another cult member appeared from the shadows. He had a computer in his hands. He set the computer down on the table Ross was sitting at. He opened it and clicked on Google Chrome. Ross noticed that there was a nametag on his left nipple, like Caleb. It read "Taylor". As soon as Chrome loaded, Taylor started typing something. " ?", Ross thought out loud. "What could that mean?" When the page stopped loading, Taylor typed in "vader13289" on the search bar. Immediately, about a thousand stories popped up. He clicked on one called "True Love: An Undertale/MLP Fanfic". "What the heck was this?!", Ross thought. He tried to looked away, but someone named "Cameron" came up from behind him and held open his eyes. "If you can't take the time, don't do the crime.", Caleb whispered into his ear softly.


	6. Chapter 5

Bob Ross was dead. The fanfiction killed him. A cult member named Matthew took his carcass and threw it in the trash. "Well that was fun.", Caleb said. "Let's go get chinese!"

6 and a half months later…

Matthew smelled something. It wasn't a bad smell, but it wasn't a finger-lickin' good smell either. It was coming from the trash can. He went and opened the trash. There was what appeared to be a green cocoon at the bottom. Matthew stuck his head down next to it. The smell WAS coming from there. Suddenly, the green cocoon opened and a creature came out. Matthew lifted his head out and started to run away. But the thing jumped on his face. Matthew fell over before coming unconscious.

"Where am I?", Bob Ross said. He was in a dark place. He walked around. It was just a black void. Suddenly, he fell to his knees for some reason. He saw a figure walk up to him. It was GamingGrass. "No, you're dead!", Ross said in disbelief. "My physical form is, but my conscious is intact.", GamingGrass replied. The GamingGrass bent over. "WE ARE NOW ONE", it said demonically before kissing Ross on the cheek. A cocoon started forming around them. "Nooooooo", Ross said before the cocoon consumed them both.


	7. Chapter 6

Kaylee, the Real Boy Squad's secretary, was walking their secret sewer lair. She had just gotten some eggs at Blockbuster. She walked into the sewer lair. Suddenly, she saw Matthew's unconscious body laying on the ground with the green thing attached to his face. "Ahhhh!", she screamed.

"Isaiah, you're gonna have to put her down.", Caleb said to Isaiah. Kaylee stood in front of them. She had been screaming for hours. She had lost the will to live. They found Matthew next to her, unconscious with a green thing on his face. "But, I-... we just got together!", Isaiah said, pleading with Caleb. "No buts!", Caleb said. "You're the one who brought her here!" He handed him a sawed-off shotgun and left. Isaiah put Kaylee's collar on her and took her outside. He tied her to a tree branch. He aimed the gun at Kaylee. "You've been a good boy Kaylee!", He said, holding back tears. "I'm sorry…" Suddenly, Isaiah got a call on his walkie-talkie. "Yezz.", He said. Dylan was on the line. "Matthew woke up!", Dylan said with joy. "I'll be right over!", Isaiah said, excited to see his best buddy pal again. He ran off, leaving Kaylee tied to the tree branch.


	8. Chapter 7

Isaiah walked into the medical center. Matthew was awake and sitting on the bed. Isaiah walked up and gave his bezt friend a hug. "Eye neva fought eyde se u agane?", Isaiah said. Isaiah looked around the room. The whole Real Boy Squad was there. They all looked happy. Suddenly, Matthew fell over and started convulsing on the floor. Cameron pulled out an AK-47, prepared to put him down. He aimed and fired, but Isaiah took the bullet. He fell on the floor, dying. "Isaiah, why?", Caleb sad to Isaiah. "I like waffles…", Isaiah said before dying in Caleb's arms. Caleb looked up, Matthew was gone.

Matthew was climbing in the vents. He had to protect his green baby. He got to the kitchen vent and exited the vent system. He went to the fridge and opened it. He started devouring everything in it. Matthew looked up. The Real Boy Squad was standing in the doorway. "It's too late now!", Matthew said with glee. "He's already coming!" Matthew took his shirt off. Suddenly, Matthew's chest burst open. A green thing that looked like Bob Ross exited it. "Who are you?", Caleb said. " _ **HOO**_!", The creature replied back.


	9. Chapter 8

The creature turned around and started devouring Matthew's carcass. Caleb looked to Cameron, who took out his modified 2014 sawed-off shotgun XL edition rifle. The creature had stopped eating Matthew's carcass at that time and was muttering " _ **HOO**_ ". It's voice sounded demonic, almost evil. Cameron took aim with the rifle. Suddenly, the creature turned around, stood up, and started yelling " _ **HOO**_ " at the top of it's lungs. If it even had lungs. The creature looked like Bob Ross except it was green and plant-like. The creature looked straight at Cameron before bending over and picking up a fire-poker which was laying conveniently on the kitchen floor. It looked at Cameron again. "Hey man," Cameron said to the creature, "I'm six years old and I know how to shoot." "Don't come near me!" The creature did the opposite. It ran over to Cameron and stabbed him in the chest with the fire-poker. Cameron dropped his rifle and fell onto the floor. He then started vomiting the lasana he ate for lunch all over the creature, before dying. The creature then decided that it was time to bolt it. It tried to run out the kitchen door, but Caleb grabbed it's arm. In response, the creature cut Caleb's left eye out with it's claws. Caleb, in pain, let go of the creature, allowing it to escape. "Nice job, Caleb", Jacob said sarcastically. "Shut it Casebolt", Caleb said in response.

Caleb was in the med-bay. He was getting a new cybernetic-eye after his battle with the creature. "Done.", Taylor said. Caleb got up. He shall have his revenge one day. One day very soon.

The creature is now on the surface. It got there from a sewage pipe. This is a new day for the creature. A NEW DAY.

 _End of Part 1_


	10. Chapter 9

Robbie was driving his red sports-car. Suddenly, a cop pulled him over. "Hey kid", he said, "you gotta license for that?" Robbie pulled out the fake license his parents got him along with the car. The cop cop looked at the licence, then back at Robbie. "Do you think I'm stupid?", the cop said. Robbie took out his wallet and gave the good man a $100 dollar bill. The cop smiled at him and slowly walked away.

Robbie eventually got to his destination, the back alley where he got the goods. He got out of the car and walked up to his dealer. "Waz up brodda", Robbie said to his dealer. The dealer said nothing, but pulled out what Robbie wanted, a bag full of My Little Pony merchandise. "Dis iz a gud one", the dealer said back. "It's got a Pinkie Pie plushie in it!" Robbie, seeking more My Little Pony merchandise, grabbed the bag straight from his hands and gave him $1000 dollars. "Pleasure do'in business wit ya", the dealer said as he started to leave. But, before he left something caught his eye. "Hey mate, what's dat?"

Someone in a cloak was approaching them. "Hey man, it's not what it looks like!", Robbie said, trying to hide his My Little Pony addiction. The person just kept walking, as if not hearing Robbie's lies. Then, the person stopped. It took it's long green hands from under it's cloak out for everyone to see, before using them to completely take off it's cloak. The dealer and Robbie were surprised to see the creature's appearance. They acted like they were almost scared. The dealer approached the creature fearfully and asked it if it wanted any My Little Pony merchandise. Let's just say it didn't.

The creature sliced at the dealer's chest with it's claws. The dealer fell down onto the ground and slowly died, before the creature bent over and started devouring his carcase. It was about to rip out his heart and eat it before Robbie hit it in the face with the crowbar he kept in his trunk, trying to be a hero or something. The creature ran at Robbie and pounced him. It tried to bite his face off with it's large teeth, but Robbie kept blocking his attacks with his crowbar. He eventually kicked it off and made a run for his car, but the creature took a My Little Pony coloring book that the dealer dropped on the ground and threw at him. It hit him in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground. The creature took it's opportunity and pounced, ripping open the back of Robbie's head. But, before it could eat Robbie's body, someone threw a net on the creature, trapping it.

"Did you really think that you'd really seen the last of me?", Caleb said, yelling triumphantly. "You're a tough one to catch!", he went on. "Took us 2 months to find where you where!" Caleb looked dressed for the occasion. He wore black armour on his lower-half and wore nothing on his upper-half. His covered in solid black warpaint and he now wore a cybernetic eye where the creature ripped his other one out. "Enough talking!", Caleb said as he drew his sword. "It's time to die you green piece of scum!" He nodded to Taylor, who was there with the rest of the Real Boy Squad. Taylor nodded back and started pressing multiple keys on his computer. The net holding the creature in place started producing a shock, causing the creature pain. Caleb raise up his sword, ready to strike. But, a bullet suddenly pierced Caleb's shoulder. Caleb looked up, trying to see who had shot him. People wearing masks were standing near the entrance of the back-alley, holding guns. "Everybody run!", Caleb yelled out to the rest of the squad. They all ran out of the back alley, except for Jacob, who was shot in the back the people. The people went to Taylor's computer and turned of the net. But, the creature was already knocked out cold. The people took the net off the creature and started carrying it far away.

The creature woke up. It was tied up and sitting in front of someone in a mask. The person was sitting on a throne made on gold and wore mask similarly made out of gold. Another person walked up beside the creature and bowed to the person. "My lord, her is the creature you requested.", the person said. "Thank you, Shovda", he lord replied. He then looked at the creature, then back at Shovda. "Leave us." "As you wish, Shovda said to the lord. He looked back at the creature and took off his mask. "Hello, my name is M. Night Shyamalan, what's yours."


	11. Chapter 10

Caleb's arm was getting worse. Him and Taylor had just arrived to the Med-Bay. Dylan unfortunately was lost along the way. Caleb sat himself down in a chair. "You've lost a lot of blood.", Taylor said. "You might… might di-..." Taylor was cut off by Caleb before he could finish. "Don't say that word.", Caleb replied, almost out of breath. "I see your in quite a predicament, Ruby!" Caleb looked up to see who was talking to him. In the doorway was standing The Real Boy Squad's funder, Trump himself. "I don't understand why I keep paying you while you continually screw up like this.", Trump said to Caleb. Caleb would've started cussing him out right then, but he knew if he would, Trump would pull their funding and the Secret Service would've shot him full of lead. So he just stayed silent, for now. "I've been using half of my money to fund the Space-Force", Trump continued, "and the other half I've been paying to you stupid pieces of garbage, who try and hunt down a green monster, while you should be hunting terrorists. I could be using the other half of my my money to fund the wall, because let's get real, congress ain't gonna pay squat." "We'll try to do better next time sir.", Caleb said in fear. "I don't want better", Trump replied, "I want you to be excellent. I can't take a risk like that!" Trump paused. "But then again, I wouldn't be rich if I didn't take risks. You get 42 hours to find that green thing." "Why thank you sir!", Caleb said with glee. "But, why do you want us to find the green thing?" "The people that took the thing are a terrorist group that call themselves the weeboz.", Trump explained. "You find the thing, you find them." Caleb got up. "We will, sir." Trump looked at Caleb's arm. "Not with that!", Trump said to Caleb. He put his arm up to his mouth and started whispering to it. Suddenly, a Secret Service agent walked in and handed Taylor a briefcase. "That's a new robotic arm.", Trump explained. "Mr. Blake should know how to attach it to you." Trump walked off, leaving Caleb and Taylor in alone.

Caleb didn't think the pain was to bad. All Taylor had to do was cut off his old organic arm and put on the new one. It took a little extra time to set up the nerve wires, but aside from that, it was easy. Caleb walked out of the Med-Bay. Sitting in front of the door was Dylan, not dead as previously thought. Sitting beside Dylan was what appeared to be one of the weeboz, tied up and not wearing their mask. "Sir", Dylan said, "I found one of the assassins." Caleb bent down and started looking at the person. It was a girl, around 13 or 14. "What's your name?", Caleb asked it. It didn't respond. Caleb then reached out with his new cybernetic arm and started strangling her. "I said, WHAT'S YOUR NAME!", Caleb screamed at her. The girl started speaking in an Australian accent. "I'm Gale!", she screamed. Caleb let her throat go, causing her to tumble to the floor. Caleb then pulled out a handgun and put it next to Gale's face. "Now, where are your friends?", Caleb asked Gale.


	12. Chapter 11

Shyamalan got up from his throne and walked over to creature. Shyamalan bent over in front of the creature's face, causing the creature's nostrils to burn because of his "Shyama-Breath". "I've heard much about you, creature!", Shyamalan said. He got out of the creature's face and walked over to a desk that was similarly made out of gold. There, he got a golden wine bottle and walked back over to the creature. "Some wine?", he asked the creature. The creature, confused what the frick was going, only muttered, " _ **HOO**_?". Shyamalan opened the bottle and poured wine all over the floor. He then went back to his throne while drinking whatever was left in the bottle. In it's 2 months of existence, the creature had not tasted wine before. It bent over a curiously tasted the alcoholic liquid. After taking a sip, the creature started lapping up the wine. After finishing, the creature got up. Intoxicated, the creature started yelling, " _ **HU00OUH**_ ". Shyamalan got up from his throne once again and pressed a button on the control panel on his arm. Suddenly, whatever what was binding the creature had fallen off. Shyamalan put his mask back on and beckoned the creature to follow him down a hallway. The creature got up and started following him.

Shyamalan and the creature where talking while walking down the hallway. Actually, it was Shyamalan saying some things and the creature saying " _ **HUU0000GHJ**_ " back. Shyamalan stooped and the creature followed suit. The creature had been told about how Shyamalan was in a club called the Weeboz and how the Weeboz are trying to make the world a better place.

Suddenly, someone that looked important walked up to Shyamalan. Shyamalan stopped and the creature followed suit. "Kevno", Shyamalan said, "what's the problem". The person named Kevno began to speak. "Sir, the prisoner still won't tell us where the shipment will be." Shyamalan looked at the creature. "Come with us.", Shyamalan said.

Kevno led Shyamalan and the creature into a dark, strange room. In the center, was a man tied up in a chair. Shyamalan took off his mask and bent down in front of the man. "It's gonna be okay.", Shyamalan said to the man. "No one's gonna hurt you anymore. Now, just tell us where the shipment is and we'll let you go." The man spat in Shyamalan's face. "I won't let you do this!", the man said. Shyamalan got up and put on his mask. "Show him After Earth.", Shyamalan said to Kevno. Immediately, the man's face became full of fear. He began screaming "no" and begging not to be shown "After Earth". The creature and Shyamalan the left the room, leaving Kevno to show the man "After Earth".

Shyamalan and the creature waited outside for what seemed like hours. Finally, Kevno exited the room. "We have the location.", Kevno said to Shyamalan. "Thank you, Kevno.", Shyamalan replied. He then told Kevno to leave him and the creature. After Kevno left, Shyamalan began speaking to the creature. "Creature, would you help us in getting something?", he quietly asked the creature. The creature, still drunk, nodded it's head. "Very good!", Shyamalan replied. "I shall talk to you again tomorrow." Shyamalan then started pressing buttons on the control panel on his arm. Minutes later, another member of the Weeboz walked up to the 2 of them. "This is Emm.", Shyamalan explained to the creature. "She will lead you to your quarters." Shyamalan then walked off, leaving Emm to show the creature to his quarters.


	13. Chapter 12

Her name was Abigail Lambface. She was born in Australia and immigrated to the United States when she was a small child. She had been employed at a Hot Topic until she disappeared last year. She had been missing for a full year, until now.

Caleb's fist hit Gale's face again. "Where are they!", Caleb screamed in her face. "Not telling!", Gale said. Caleb grabbed Gale's throat again and threw her on the wall. He took out a knife and stabbed her in the shoulder, pinning her to the wall. As Gale screamed in pain, Dylan put his hand on Cale's shoulder. "Hey man, that might be a little to harsh.", he said. Caleb turned around and punched Dylan in the face. As Dylan was recovering from the blow, Caleb took the knife out of Gale's shoulder, causing Gale to fall to the ground. Caleb slashed Caleb in the chest with the knife and kicked him to the ground. Caleb got on top of Dylan and started repeatedly punching him in the face. Taylor looked up from his Fortnite game. Seeing Caleb trying to kill Dylan, he pulled out his gun. "Let him go, man!", Taylor said to Caleb. Caleb got up and put his hands up. He walked towards Taylor. Suddenly, Caleb tried to grab the gun out of Taylor's hands. Taylor pulled the trigger while the gun was in Caleb's hand, blowing it off. Caleb, as if he was not experiencing any pain, uppercutted Taylor with his other, mechanical arm. As Taylor stumbled back, Caleb picked up Taylor's gun and pointed it straight at him. "She got away!", Caleb said in anger. Taylor looked back. Gale was gone. Caleb walked over to the spot where she was. There was a trail of blood that went out of the door. Caleb looked to Taylor. "Build me a new arm.", he said. "We're gonna go Gale hunting."


	14. Chapter 13

The creature didn't sleep that much that night. Emm had led it to a room which stunk of broken dreams and Oprah. It was not allowed to get out of bed the entire night and Emm sat on a chair on the opposite side of the room, occasionally taking pills from a Hypnocil bottle. She would not let the creature get out of bed until seven in the morning. At seven, Emm touched the back of the creature's neck, waking him up, and beckoned him to the door. Emm never spoke unless it was about her migraines. The creature got up out of it's bed and walked out of the door. A Weeboz member was waiting for it outside in the hallway. "My name is Sarah Hovda, but you may call me Shovda.", she said. She beckoned the creature to follow her.

Shovda lead the creature back to the golden room Shyamalan was in back like two chapters ago. He was sitting on his golden throne, drinking wine and talking to other Weeboz members. "Right on time, my child.", Shyamalan said. "We need you to get ready for your trip, creature." The creature, confused what the frick was going on, only responded, " _ **HOO**_ ". "Your plane to Zuumbezzi Bei leaves in an hour.", Shyamalan replied. "Shovda will lead you to the workshop, where your mask will be made." Shovda took the creature by the arm and led it out of the golden room. Shyamalan started to chug the wine. "Nothing can stop me now!", Shyamalan said to himself. Suddenly, Kevno's phone began to ring. "Sir", she said, "it's Gale!" Shyamalan grabbed the phone out of Kevno's hand. "Gale", he said, "where the frick are you!" "Sir, I think we have a problem.", she said.


	15. Chapter 14

The Real Boy Squad was in the local public park now and the trail of blood had run cold. For hours they had searched for Gale. This was Dylan and Taylor's last stop, as they were frickin' tired. Caleb, however, was not tired. He had been acting very strange since he had his arm was replaced with a mechanical one. Ever since then, he had begun acting extremely aggressive and sadistic. While Caleb was distracted by a Fortnite advertisement, Taylor bent over and whispered something in Dylan's ear. "Is it just me, or has Caleb gone completely insane?!", he asked. "Taylor", he replied, "Caleb's lost something near and dear to him." Taylor and Dyan looked over at Caleb. He was standing alone, clenching his cold, new metallic arms and crying. "See?", Dylan said. "Look again.", Taylor replied. Dylan looked again. Caleb now had the blood of small children all over his arms and was laughing maniacally. "Your right.", Dylan said in fear. "Right about what?", Caleb said. "ABOUT HOW LIT THE NEW FORTNITE UPDATE IS!", Taylor replied. Caleb said nothing, but beckoned them over towards the park zipline.

"I think she might have been here.", Caleb said. They were standing in front of a graffitied wall. The graffiti read, "Man Abigale Lambface is soooooooo MLG #Australia #GaleXRobbie4ever #2018BonnieandClyde #MakeAustraliaGucciAgain". Suddenly, Taylor heard something. Turning around, Taylor saw Gale coming in on the zipline. Gale kicked all three of them in the head before jumping off the zipline. "You son of a b-", Caleb started saying before being cut off by Gale, literally. Gale stabbed Caleb in the stomach and ran off toward the playground. Caleb got up, painlessly tore the knife from his belly, and stole a machine gun from Dylan's unconscious body. He walked towards the playground to find Gale and end it all.

The playground at this pubic park was special. No parents were allowed inside the playground. They just drop their kids off and pick them up sometime later. This made the playground a perfect place for Gale to go. There were no witnesses except for the children, who didn't have phones to call the cops and didn't have a brain to even recognize what was going on. Still, Gale would have to get rid of them when she was finished with this. Gale pulled out a gun and pointed it at the entrance, waiting for one of the Real Boy Squad members to appear. Suddenly, a pair of hands came from behind Gale and grabbed her. Gale turned around trying to see who it was. Caleb, of course. He came from the back door, which Gale didn't even know existed. He punched the gun out of her hand, breaking it in the process. As Gale screamed in pain, Caleb kicked her to the ground and threw some handcuffs on her. Caleb then took out the machine gun he took from Dylan. The kids here might be stupid, but they could talk. Caleb told all the kids to line up. "Mister", Little Timmy asked Caleb, "are we going to play Fortnite in real-life?" "We've already referenced Fortnite to much today.", Caleb responded.

Dylan and Taylor woke up to the sounds of gunshots. Dylan and Taylor ran over to the playground, not sure what to think. The children that were in the playground were all dead, all killed by a gunshot wound to the head. Gale's body laid to the side, presumably killed by strangulation. Caleb stood in the center. "She killed them.", he said. Dylan and Taylor looked at each other nervously. "She tried to call the rest of her friends, but I put a stop to that quick.", Caleb continued. Finally, Caleb beckoned them to get out. They followed his commands. On his way out, Caleb put a grenade in Gale's mouth. "Goodbye Gale.", Caleb said as he pulled and ran.

Shyamalan turned on his golden TV. On the news was a story about how Gale shot seventeen children then killed herself with a hand grenade. "Shovda", Shyamalan said, "we must not have these men spoil our plans." "Of course, my lord.", she responded. Shyamalan did not respond, but simply just sat back on his throne and laughed.


	16. Chapter 15

Shovda's grip around the creature's arm grew tighter and tighter by the second as she led him down to the workshop where the Weeboz's masks are made. Suddenly, Shovda and the creature arrived at workshop. Shovda, still angry about once being Shyamalan's second-in-command and now being a simple errand-girl transporting green things that looked like Bob Ross to a workshop in Iraq to get it a terrorist mask made, pushed the creature in the door and slammed it shut without saying a word. The creature looked around. The room was empty except for a person wearing a hockey mask painted with hot anime women. The creature expected the person to start conversing with it, but it said nothing. It pointed to the wall. The creature looked up. On the wall were all different types of masks. The creature pointed to just a plain mask. The person brought it down from the wall and put it on his desk next to his spray paint bottles. The person then beckoned the creature to sit down in a swivel chair in the center of the room. The creature was hesitant at first, but after the person gave him a lollipop, he sat down. The person then restrained the creature's arms and legs to the chair for some reason. The person then took out a pair of scissors and started cutting off the creatures luxurious afro! The creature started screaming, " _ **HOO**_!", repeatedly at the top of it's lungs. The creature struggled to get out of it's chair. But it was no use.

It took about twenty minutes to cut off the creature's beautiful mane. The creature stopped screaming and the person let it go from it's restraints. The creature looked in the mirror. There was only head stubble were his mighty locks had once been. The creature almost strangled the person, but it decided that he would make it a cool mask first. The person asked the creature what design it wanted on it's mask. The creature thought. Suddenly, it remembered something from Shyamalan's throne room. A golden pineapple sitting on his golden desk. The creature, wanting to show the person what he wanted, took the person's hand and led him Shyamalan's throne room.

Shyamalan turned on his golden TV. On the news was a story about how Gale shot seventeen children then killed herself with a hand grenade. "Shovda", Shyamalan said, "we must not have these men spoil our plans." "Of course, my lord.", she responded. Shyamalan did not respond, but simply just sat back on his throne and laughed. Suddenly, the creature and the person ran into his throne room. "Jaxxon and creature", Shyamalan said, "what are you doing here?" They both did not answer, but the creature ran over to the golden pineapple and showed it to Jaxxon. Jaxxon looked at it deeply, then put it down. Jaxxon then beckoned the creature to follow him back to his workshop. After they left, Shyamalan got up from his throne and started caressing the golden pineapple. "Soon my darling.", he said creepily.

Jaxxon handed the creature it's new mask. The mask was painted gold with a pineapple pattern. The creature hugged Jaxxon and left the workshop. The creature then started to go to Shyamalan's throne room, but soon bumped into Kevno. "Your flight to Zuumbezzi Bei leaves in five minutes!", she said. Kevno then told the creature to follow her. The creature started to follow, not knowing where the frick it was going.

Kevno and the creature walked through a door with a sign on it reading "hanger bay". There was an airplane inside, too small to be a public one but too large to be a private one. Kevno pointed at the airplane. "Get in there now!", she screamed. The creature, afraid, went inside the airplane. Inside were multiple Weeboz members, each wearing a different design of mask. Suddenly, the pilot started speaking. "Good morning everyone.", he said. "My name is Mr. Hanni and I'll be your pilot today. Okay, so is there a Mr. Hip-Man here?" A Weeboz member raised his hand. "Okay", he continued, "is there Mr. Harambe Jr. here?" Another Weeboz member raised his hand. "Okay, so is there a Mr.- uh….., a Mr. creature here?" The creature raised it's hand like the other Weeboz. "I'm not calling you creature, son.", the pilot said. "Do you have a name?" The creature's cheeks turned red and it leaned it's head down in embarrassment. The pilot looked at the creature closely. It looked exactly like Bob Moss, but only green, with no afro, and wearing only a golden pineapple mask and a pair of pink Dragon Ball Z underwear it stole from Jaxxon when it wasn't looking. "How about Shawnt?", he asked. The creature nodded it's head no. "Um, I- um.", the pilot said. The pilot had never had anyone say no to being named Shawnt. He named his stuffed animal wolf Shawnt, his catnip he grew Shawnt, he even imagined that him and his future wife's child could be named Shawnt. The pilot started hyperventilating. He had never had to think this hard before. "How about Bob Moss?", he finally said after about fifteen minutes. The creature filled with excitement. It started screaming, " _ **HOO**_!", annoying yet again the Weeboz members who had been waiting in a hot plane for fifteen minutes waiting to be taken to Africa so they could steal stuff. The creature now finally had a name: Bob Moss. The pilot started spitting up blood. He had not thought that hard before in his life. He took out a hand gun and put it in his mouth in order to make the pain go away. "Tell my catnip I love her.", the pilot said.


	17. Chapter 16

The Arkansaw Asylum workers were to come for Kaylee early the next morning. She had been tied up outside screaming for two months and Caleb was sick of it. He waited outside the Real Boy Squadd base, waiting for them to come. He had put Kaylee in the pet carrier, still screaming. It was all that green thing's fault. He thought about all the people it had killed. All the people it had mamed. He thought of his fallen Real Boy Squad members. GamingGrass, Matthew, Cameron, Jacob, and Isaiah. The thoughts made him angry. Suddenly, the Arkansaw Asylum workers arrived. "HeLlo THere siR!", one the workers said as their voice cracked. Caleb took the pet carrier and threw it at one of the workers. "PLEAsure do'in business WIth you, MAAM.", the worker said to Caleb before he and his fellow workers got back in their van to take Kaylee to Arkensaw. Suddenly, Dylan came outside. "Trump's Skyping us, Caleb.", Dylan said. Caleb became even more angry. He ran into the main quarters, where Trump's face was projected onto a giant computer monitor. "So Ruby," said Trump, "it's been forty-two hours and you have not found where the Weeboz are located. So, as agreed, you and your friends will be relieved of duty." "Actually," Caleb said, "we tracked them last night after Gale called their base yesterday. They're in Iraq sir." "Excellent, Ruby.", Trump said "We shall send a strike force down there on Wednesday." "Wednesday?", Caleb asked. "That's three days from now!" "I am not gonna miss Kellyanne Conway's dank frickin' party.", Trump replied. "She said I could find another wife there! Now, I don't want you to go down to Iraq and raid them by yourselves, okay?" "Yes sir.", Caleb said. "Good, Ruby. Trump out." The Skype call ended. Caleb left the room for his quarters, not sure what to do next.

Caleb sat on his bed, thinking about the creature. It had taken everything from him. His friends, his body, even his dignity. Wait, Caleb's body. The creature had caused one of his eyes and both of his arms to be removed and replaced by new robotic ones. Since then, he had not felt hardly any pain at all across his entire body. He has super-strength because of his bionic arms. "My body!", he screamed out. Caleb realized what he must do now. Caleb got up from his bed and made his way over to the Med-Bay. He was going to make himself perfect.

Taylor woke up. There was a note sitting on his nightstand. It told Taylor to come to the main quarters. Taylor got up and went to the main quarter. There was Dylan sitting there waiting. Taylor sat down also to see what type of bullcrap Caleb had cooked up this time. Suddenly, Caleb entered the room. Taylor and Dylan were shocked! Caleb's whole body was now covered completely by cybernetics, except for his head, which had wires filled with a green liquid connecting Caleb's brain to his spinal cord. His head was now bald and his eyes glowed green. "How do I look?", Caleb asked. Taylor and Dylan did not answer, as they were shocked. "Now", Caleb said, "let's go to Iraq."


	18. Chapter 17

The pilot started spitting up blood. He had not thought that hard before in his life. He took out a hand gun and put it in his mouth in order to make the pain go away. "Tell my catnip I love her.", the pilot said. The pilot pulled the trigger. However, no bullet came out, as it was a water gun. This was unfortunate for the pilot, however, as the water that squirted out from the water gun was now drowning him. He fell down from his chair and started convulsing on the ground like a sardine. He started making choking noises too. Suddenly, he stopped convulsing. Bob Moss walked over to him to see if he was dead. "Wait!", the pilot said. "I-... I see a light! God, are you there? God, don't send me out of the classroom. All I did was drink my Mountain Dew! God please! Can I at least take my tablet?" After that, he was gone. Bob Moss would have devoured his carcass then and there, but he had given him the name "Bob Moss" and he liked it. Kevno walked in to see why the frick they hadn't gone to Zuumbezzi Bei yet. She walked up to the pilot's body and bent over to close his eyes. "Don't worry Isaac," she said, "our plan is almost over. You didn't die for nothing." She then felt something in his hand. She pulled it from his grip and looked at it. It was a photo dated 12/16/91. It showed the pilot as a small child, holding a dog. Written all over the dog in permanent marker was the word "Shawnt". "Shawnt.", Kevno said. "That sounds like a decent nickname." She then called Shyamalan on her walkie-talkie. "Yes, Kevno?", Shyamalan said. "Can you change my nickname to Shawnt?", she asked. "Any other requests?", Shyamalan replied. Kevno asked the room if they had any other requests for Shyamalan. Bob Moss tried to tell Kevno that it wanted its name changed from "the creature" to "Bob Moss". But, it could not speak. All that comes out when it tries is " _ **HOO**_!". So Bob Moss went over to the pilot's carcass and pulled out a notepad from when he was brainstorming names for it fifteen minutes earlier. It said on it, "CAN'T BE NAMED SHAWNT CAN'T BE NAMED ISAAC JR. CAN'T BE NAMED GALE JR. CAN BE NAMED BOB MOSS". It shoved the notepad in Kevno's face. "Can you change the creature's nickname to "Bob Moss"?", Kevno asked. "Sure.", Shyamalan said. Triumphantly, Bob Moss started yelling, " _ **HOO**_ ", again at the top of its lungs.

Since the original pilot was dead, Shawnt agreed to fly the team of Weeboz to Zuumbezzi Bei. It took twelve hours though. Two to get there and ten more because Shawnt got lost. Finally, they landed in Zuumbezzi Bei. Zuumbezzi Bei was a small country on the coast of Africa. The people there were descendants of immigrants from Jamaica and Portland, Oregon. They declared war on the Spanish people about thirty years ago and had been at war since then. The team of Weeeboz landed in a field just outside of the capital city of Jozhkenn. Kevno opened up one of the plane doors and told Bob Moss to get out. After getting out, Bob Moss waited for more Weeboz members to get out, but none did. Shawnt stuck her head out of the door to talk to the creature. "Shyamalan said that you shall do this alone, Mr. Moss.", she said. "Go to the ship that is named "The Spanish Killer" at the dock in the capital city and get a box from it that says "Shipment 126-SK" on it." Shawnt then closed the door, leaving Bob Moss to it's own devices.

Jozhkenn had extremely rigorous border control, as the people of Zuumbezzi Bei did not want any Spanish people coming in to their sacred country. Bob Moss walked up to one of the clerks at the entrance of Jozhkenn. "Are you a Mexican?", the clerk asked. " _ **HOO**_!", Bob Moss replied. "Say the word "Taco".", the clerk said. " _ **HOO**_!", Bob Moss replied again. "Okay you can get in now.", the clerk said. The clerk walked over to one of the entrances of the city and opened the gate, allowing Bob Moss to enter. Immediately, Bob Moss was amazed by how awesome the city was. Children playing in the streets, smog in the air, and anti-Spanish propaganda were everywhere! As Bob Moss started to walk around he noticed something. There was a building with a sign on it that intrigued Bob Moss. The sign was sitting next to the entrance and read, "TO DOCKS". Bob Moss, thinking that this was the way to the docks, entered the building without a second thought.

The inside of the building was dark, so Bob Moss could hardly see. It walked around the building trying to find a way to the docks. It went up some stairs to what appeared to be an attic. At the far side of the room was a window and standing in front of the window was the shadow of a man. " _YU MUZT BE BAAB MOZZ_ ", the man said in a country accent. Bob Moss tried to cuss the man out, but he could not speak. Finally, he blurted out, " _ **HOO ARE YOU**_?" " _HE SPEEKZ_?", the man said. The man then walked forward and turned on a light. Bob Moss could now see the man's features. He was tall, with bad acne, a large adam's apple, braces, and a haircut slightly longer on one side and slightly shorter on the other. He wore a T-shirt with a bear on it. " _MAI NAEM IZ LANDON MOARIZZ AND I''M FROM BOOOOOOONE COUNTEE_!", the man said. Bob Moss, not giving a crap, decided to walk out of the building and do something else. But Landon didn't like that. He took out a "coal launcher" and shot Bob Moss in the back of the head, knocking him out. " _WEER GONNA HAF TOO HAF A TALK_ , _MR_. _MOZZ_.", Landon said as he smiled at Bob Moss' glorious body.


	19. Chapter 18

The Arkansaw Asylum workers were to come for Kaylee early the next morning. She had been tied up outside screaming for two months and Caleb was sick of it. He waited outside the Real Boy Squad base, waiting for them to come. He had put Kaylee in the pet carrier, still screaming. It was all that green thing's fault. He thought about all the people it had killed. All the people it had mamed. He thought of his fallen Real Boy Squad members. GamingGrass, Matthew, Cameron, Jacob, and Isaiah. The thoughts made him angry. Suddenly, the Arkansaw Asylum workers arrived. "HeLlo THere siR!", one the workers said as their voice cracked. Caleb took the pet carrier and threw it at one of the workers. "PLEAsure do'in business WIth you, MAAM.", the worker said to Caleb before he and his fellow workers got back in their van to take Kaylee to Arkensaw. Suddenly, Dylan came outside. "Trump's Skyping us, Caleb.", Dylan said. Caleb became even more angry. He ran into the main quarters, where Trump's face was projected onto a giant computer monitor. "So Ruby," said Trump, "it's been forty-two hours and you have not found where the Weeboz are located. So, as agreed, you and your friends will be relieved of duty." "Actually," Caleb said, "we tracked them last night after Gale called their base yesterday. They're in Iraq sir." "Excellent, Ruby.", Trump said "We shall send a strike force down there on Wednesday." "Wednesday?", Caleb asked. "That's three days from now!" "I am not gonna miss Kellyanne Conway's dank frickin' party.", Trump replied. "She said I could find another wife there! Now, I don't want you to go down to Iraq and raid them by yourselves, okay?" "Yes sir.", Caleb said. "Good, Ruby. Trump out." The Skype call ended. Caleb left the room for his quarters, not sure what to do next.

Caleb sat on his bed, thinking about the creature. It had taken everything from him. His friends, his body, even his dignity. Wait, Caleb's body. The creature had caused one of his eyes and both of his arms to be removed and replaced by new robotic ones. Since then, he had not felt hardly any pain at all across his entire body. He has super-strength because of his bionic arms. "My body!", he screamed out. Caleb realized what he must do now. Caleb got up from his bed and made his way over to the Med-Bay. He was going to make himself perfect.

Taylor woke up. There was a note sitting on his nightstand. It told Taylor to come to the main quarters. Taylor got up and went to the main quarter. There was Dylan sitting there waiting. Taylor sat down also to see what type of bullcrap Caleb had cooked up this time. Suddenly, Caleb entered the room. Taylor and Dylan were shocked! Caleb's whole body was now covered completely by cybernetics, except for his head, which had wires filled with a green liquid connecting Caleb's brain to his spinal cord. His head was now bald and his eyes glowed green. "How do I look?", Caleb asked. Taylor and Dylan did not answer, as they were shocked. "Now", Caleb said, "let's go to Iraq."


	20. Chapter 19

Bob Moss woke up. It was tied to a chair in some sort of restaurant. Sitting beside him was Landon, who was reading some Trump magazine. Landon then noticed It was awake. " _AH_ , _YER AWAKE_!", Landon said excitedly. Suddenly a waiter came up to them with food. "Your fried oyster skins, sir", he said as he handed a basket full of fried oyster skins to Bob Moss. "Your fried bull junk, sir.", he said as he handed a basket full of fried bull junk to Landon. " _I TOLD U TO CAL THEM ROKEE MOUNTEN OYSTERZ_!, Landon yelled. "Whatever.", the man said as he ran off to serve more food. Landon picked up one of his "rocky mountain oysters" and pierced it with his teeth. " _CRUNCHY_!", Landon said while his mouth was full of fried bull junk. " **HOO ARE YOU**?", Bob Moss asked. " _AN INDEEVIDUAL HOO WOOD LIKE TO HAF U ON MAI TEEM_.", Landon answered. " _YER PERFECT_! _YA DID KIL MOAR REEL BOI SQAD MEMBAZ DEN I EDDA COULD_! _I'M THINKIN' OF MAKING SUMPIN' CALED DA REEL_ _ **MAN**_ _SQAD_!" While Landon was distracted by his monologuing, Bob Moss kicked him in the nutter butters and escaped.


	21. Chapter 20

_Thirteen Hours Earlier,_

 _Iraq_

Landon had snuck into the Weeboz secret hidden base in Iraq. He had jumped to people named "Lila and Maria", stole their clothes, and then pretended to be their daughter "Liria". He walked into their leader's throne room to ask where the creature he wanted to recruit for the Real Man Squad was. "Who the frick are you?", the Weeboz leader asked. " _WHI I'M LIRIA."_ , Landon said. The Weeboz leader's weird friend started looking at him funny. Landon then realized it was Sarah Hovda, the chick he hit on at the bar one night. It turned it she was gay and she beat him up over it. "Don't I know you?", Sarah asked him. " _NOEP I'VE NEVA MET U IN MAI LIEF_!", Landon lied. He then refocused his attention to the Weeboz leader. " _I'M LOOKN' FOR_ _DA CREATUR_.", he said. "Do you mean Bob Moss?", the Weeboz leader replied. Afraid that Sarah was onto him, Landon only nodded his head yes. "He just left with Shawnt." " _WHERE DID DEI GO_?", Landon asked. "They went to Zuumbezzi Bei." Landon became furious. He stormed off from the throne room, determined to find the creature once and for all. As he was leaving, the Weeboz leader bent over and started whispering something to Sarah. "Is that the guy you beat up in the bar, Shovda?", he said. "Yes, my lord.", Shovda replied. "Ahhhhh., Shyamalan realized. "Kill him."


	22. Chapter 21

Landon fell over after the painful blow to his nutter butters. " _SON OF A BIZCUTE_!", Landon said as he was writhing in pain on the floor. After about ten minutes, he finally felt he was ready to get up. He looked around. Bob Moss was gone. Landon became furious. He had spent all that time trying to find Bob Moss for this? Suddenly, the waiter who served Landon and Bob Moss walked over to him. "Sir", he said, "your gonna have to pick up your fried bull junk of the floo-." He was cut off when Landon grabbed him throat. Landon looked at the man and smiled, then threw him across the room. He then ran outside the restaurant to the parking lot. He looked around for a truck. " _I NEEDZ A TRUCK_!", he screamed to himself. Finally, he found one. A man was getting out of it. Landon walked up to the man. Landon simply looked at him, he began to cry, slowly at first but then it grew louder and louder. He fell to his knees, his eyes bleeding rapidly. It only took seconds before he bled out. Landon took the man's handgun and got in the truck. He turned on the radio. "Old Town Road", Landon's second favorite song was playing. He felt a sense of both pain and pleasure as he drove out of the parking lot to go find Bob Moss.

Bob Moss was running as fast as it could through the streets of Zuumbezzi Bei. It only had a few minutes before that weird hillbilly guy would catch up to it. Bob Moss then ducked into a Dollar General, trying to hide as quick as it could. It ran to the bootleg toy section and hid in one of the shelves. It then waited for Landon to appear.

Morning came, and there was still no sign of Landon. Bob Moss had fallen asleep, dreaming about what could be in the crate it was assigned to get. Suddenly, it was awakened by the noise of the front door opening. He heard some boots walk in as a voice with a country accent began to speak. " _HAF U SEEN A GREEN BAAB ROZZ_?", it asked. "Nope.", the cashier he asked responded. Landon then started to argue with the cashier on wrather the cashier had actually seen a green Bob Ross or not. Bob Moss, deciding Landon could never find it, decided to scratch its nose. As it scratched its nose, it realized it didn't have it's mask on. It then realized where it's mask was. Landon had taken it off it when it was at the restaurant! " _ **HOO**_!", it began to yell as burst out of its hiding place and ran out of the Dollar General. Landon then looked to the cashier. " _TOLD YE SO_!", he screamed as he ran out the door after the creature. The cashier simply got out his phone and called his psychologist.


	23. Chapter 22

The Dollar General cashier was sitting down in his psychologist, Heidi's, office. He had told her about how some weird hillbilly man had come in the store asking if he had seen a green Bob Ross. Then, a green Bob Ross shouting, " _ **HOO**_!", ran out of the store, followed by the weird hillbilly man. "This may be caused by stress caused by your aunt's stroke, Mason.", Heidi said. "You just need a few days off from work, maybe a little rest." She got up and pulled open the curtains blocking the windows. "Sunlight always helps me when I feel down.", she said. Suddenly, a green Bob Ross shouting, " _ **HOO**_!" at the top of it's lungs ran by the window, followed by a weird hillbilly man in a truck saying, " _I'M GONNA GET YA I'M GONNA GET YA_!". Heidi then sat down and started calling her psychologist.

Bob Moss was running for it's life. Landon was chasing it in his truck down the streets of Jozhkenn while listening to country music. " _COM ON LIL MOZZY_!", he screamed. Bob Moss was almost at the restaurant. It had to get it's mask. Without it, it knew it would be a disgrace to the other Weeboz members. Inside his truck, Landon was getting fed up with the creature's bullcrap. He whipped out a rocket launcher and launched it at Bob Moss. Smoke was in the air. Landon couldn't see a thing, so he stopped his truck and got out, rocket launcher in one hand and a handgun in the other. Suddenly, Bob Moss ran up to him and kicked him in the nutter butters again. This, however, didn't stun him as long as last time, as Landon had recently taken some Viagra. Landon got back up and started running towards the creature However, Landon as soon blocked by a large man with no shirt on. The tattoo on his chest read "Big Mike". Big Mike said nothing, but Landon knew what was about to happen. " _I THOGHT IT MENT FREND_!", Landon lied. This couldn't save him though.

Bob Moss had the chance to finally get to the restaurant while Landon was being torn limb from limb. There was a news reporter on the site reporting what Landon had done the previous day. "Government officials say that what happened at this local restaurant yesterday was a Spanish attack. Citizens are warned to stay in their homes in case of-... OH MY GOODNESS!", she said after seeing Bob Moss run into the restaurant. It ran to the remains of the table where it was at. There it was. Bob Moss' golden mask was perfectly intact. It put it on and went outside.

Immediately it saw Landon. He was now not wearing his shirt, exposing his chest. There was what appeared to bet Flex Tape covering his nipples. " _I DIDN'T WANNA DEW DIS_.", Landon said. " _BUT I WIL IF I HAF TO_!" Landon then ripped the Flex Tape off his nipples. A continuous flow of laser beams started shooting out of them like Cyclops from X-Men while Landon screamed in pain. He started trying to aim the lasers at Bob Moss, but it kept dodging. Landon had hit a lot of civilians to with his lasers, killing them instantly. Finally, Landon had Bob Moss backed up in a corner, his hand covering his chest. " _NOW THAT I GOT YA RIGHT WER I WANT I WANT YA_!", he screamed. Suddenly, both Landon and Bob Moss heard a plane going over them. Bob Moss saw what it was doing instantly, but it didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. When Landon looked up, he started screaming in fear. The nuke hit the city.


	24. Chapter 23

The city was in ruins. The nuke the Zuumbezzi Bei government had stolen from North Korea had blew it up. All they had to say to cover it up was to say it was a Spanish attack. The perfect cover. They would now make their capitol in the nearby city of Zhteznc. They would have to decide what would happen to the old capitol city though. The capital city that was in ruins from the nuke. They would have to do something with it, something very soon.

Bob Moss woke up. It's entire body hurt. There was what appeared to be some sort of green liquid coming out of its body. Was it blood? Bob Moss didn't know. It got up. It's legs weren't working like they used to before. It looked around. Everyone caught in the blast was dead. There was no sign of Landon anywhere. Bob Moss then saw something. It fell over and started to cry. The nuclear blast had broken it's mask in half. It then got up when it saw something in the distance. It as a wooden crate, with the designation "Shipment 126-SK". " _ **HOO**_!", Bob Moss started shouting over and over. It had found it. It had finally found it.

Bob Moss finally saw it. The plane was still in the field, waiting for it. Bob Moss, dragging the crate behind it, knocked on started screaming, " _ **HOO**_!", again. Shawnt opened the door and beckoned Bob Moss to get in. Bob Moss, filled with joy, started running to the door like a rabid animal. Suddenly, a machete came from behind Bob Moss and stabbed him in the back. Blade then pierced it's chest, causing more of the green stuff to come out. Bob Moss looked at the man who stabbed his face. Landon's body was now black and charred, thanks to the nuke. " _DA FUNZ NOT OVA YET_!", he screamed. Shawnt got out of the plane. "Let go of hi-...", she started to say before Landon shot her in the head. " _ANYWHON ELZE_?", Landon said. One of the Weeboz members closed the plane door. Bob Moss could hear one of them saying, "Prepare for takeoff." Bob Moss then slipped from consciousness in Landon's arms, not sure what to do next.


	25. Chapter 24

The Weeboz's plane landed. Shyamalan himself was standing on the runway. The door opened and all of the Weeboz Shyamalan sent, with the exception of Shawnt and Bob Moss, got out. "Where is my green prodigy?", Shyamlan said. "Some random hillbilly guy said he would kill us if we didn't give it to him.", one of the Weeboz members explained. Shyamalan then took out his golden hand-gun and shot the Weeboz member in between the eyes. "Did the hillbilly man have bad face acne?", Shyamalan asked another Weeboz member. "Yes, my lord.", the member said. Shyamlan punched this member in the face and then shot him in the groin. Shyamalan then turned to his assistant, Shovda. "Show After Earth to them all.", Shyamalan commanded. "No, wait. Make it The Last Airbender." The Weeboz members then started screaming about being shown "The Last Airbender". Shyamalan then started off the runway. He couldn't believe those jerks had given away his monster to that monster. But, at least he got his blood. At least he had it's blood.

Thirty-Eight Hours Ago,

Zuumbezzi Bei

Even though Landon had been stabbed three times and lit on fire by Shyamalan's goons, he was still doing gucci. He had the owner of a building tied up and gagged. The man had refused to give Landon his building, now he was going to pay. But first, Landon had to wait for Bob Moss. He had cut off all the lights in the building, trying to make an atmospheric mood. He would get Bob Moss and have it join the real man squad, even if it kills him.


	26. Chapter 25

Even though he had replaced most of his body with metal, Caleb still felt pleasure in throwing darts at a picture of the creature. He was in his tent, waiting until morning for them to strike. They had taken their plane to Iraq, where he would enact his final revenge on the creature. Suddenly, Dylan and Taylor walked into the tent. "Sir", Dylan said, "we will have to perform our strike on Thursday instead of tomorrow." "Trump would have already attacked by then!", Caleb said. Dylan and Taylor walked out, trying to avoid their leader's wrath. Caleb started mumbling to himself about how Dylan and Taylor betrayed him and how Trump was bribing them with V-bucks. "But they'll pay!", Caleb finally screamed out. "They'll pay! The traitors, the ones who betray the sacred codes will PAY!"

Dylan woke up. Hew wasn't in his tent. Instead, he was laying in the desert. Suddenly, a group of people wearing masks ran up to him. The leader quicking came to Dylan's side and said something. "I am Shovda.", the leader said. "Who are you?"

Caleb ran into Taylor's tent, screaming. Taylor got up and went outside with Caleb. Taylor looked down from the cliff they were staying at. Dlan was sitting down on the desert floor with a group of Weeboz surrounding him. "We should go help him!", Taylor said as he tried to run and help. But he couldn't move, as Caleb had his tight, mechanical fist around Caleb's arm. Taylor looked at Caleb's face. Strangely, he was smiling.

Shovda punched Dylan again. "Where are your friends?", she screamed. Suddenly, they both heard a beeping sound coming from Dylan's chest. Shovda took off Dylan's shirt and screamed in fear. There was a suicide bomb attached to Dylan's chest. All Caleb could do was smile as he watched Dylan and Shovda go up in flames.


	27. Chapter 26

Jaxxon had been summoned to Shyamalan's throne room for some reason. He walked into the room. There was Shyamalan, sitting on his golden throne, and Emm, who had now become Shyamalan's assistant in the wake of Shovda's untimely death. "Jaxxon", Shyamalan said, "two hours ago, a group of us found a member of the Real Boy Squad in the desert. They were then killed by a suicide bomb. This would be fine and dandy on it's own, but I don't want any members of the Real Boy Squad to runion our big victory ceremony tonight." Jaxxon said nothing and left the room. "Your militia is in the air hanger!", Shyamalan screamed out as Jaxxon left to find his old friends.


	28. Chapter 27

Taylor had been hiding for hours. Caleb had gone insane! He had turned himself into a robot, dragged them to Iraq, and had killed Dylan! Taylor was hiding in a cabinet in the kitchen tent. He could hear Caleb's metallic footsteps come closer and closer with the second. Taylor knew he had to act fast, but he wasn't sure what to do. Caleb was a cyborg, equipped with built-in guns, knives, lasers, and etcetera, and Taylor was equipped with nothing but the clothes on his back. But, he could hack into Caleb's mechanical parts if he had his computer. That was on the other side of the room! Taylor put his head out of the cabinet door to see where Caleb was. He was coming down the aisle toward him with his silver sword in hand. Taylor ducked back in. "You can't hide forever traitor!", Taylor heard Caleb yell. Taylor reached in his pocket. He eventually found his lucky bullet that he got from his first kill with the Real Boy Squad. Taylor kissed it good luck and then through it out as a distraction. Caleb heard the noise it made and began to run out of the kitchen tent. Taylor slowly opened the cabinet door and slowly walked towards the computer. He got his computer and tried to pull it away. But, it was attached to Taylor's portable charger. Taylor reached for the charger, which was attached to it's dock on the wall. Suddenly, Caleb's silver sword pierced through Taylor's hand. As Taylor screamed in pain, Caleb ran up to him and grabbed him by the neck. Caleb could hear Taylor begging for mercy as he strangled him, but he didn't care. Finally, Taylor took his last breath. The deed was done. Caleb felt pleasure as he threw Taylor's body on the floor. Caleb had one this battle. But, he hadn't won the war. Next, he would finally conquer the green creature and the Weeboz. Suddenly, Caleb heard something coming toward the tent. Suddenly, the tent exploded in flames. Caleb walked out to see a Weeboz strike team holding rocket launchers, led by someone in a mask decorated with anime girls. Caleb's shoulder then opened, revealing mini rocket launchers. All the Weeboz went down quickly after that, except for their leader. "Who are you?", Caleb asked. The Weeboz member then removed his mask, revealing a scarred face with a mouth literally sewn shut. "Jackson Robinson", Caleb said, "traitor to the Real Boy Squad.


	29. Chapter 28

_Years Earlier_

Obama had asked the Real Boy Squad to go to Hawaii and assassinate Mitt Romney, as he was afraid he would beat him in the next election. They had snuck into Romney's penthouse suite, ready to strike as soon as he got back. The Real Boy Squad only consisted of Caleb, Taylor, Jackson, Cameron, Dylan, and GamingGrass at this time, as Matthew, Isaiah,and Jacob had not joined yet. Caleb was standing at the front door, Jackson and GamingGrass was at the balcony, and Dylan was at the back door. Cameron wasn't there because the rest couldn't wake him up back at the gas station. But, nevertheless they were ready for Romney. After six and a half hours of waiting, the members started asking Caleb were Romney was. "I'm sure he'll get here eventually.", Caleb said. More hours passed and still no sign of Romney. Caleb then left his station, frickin tired. Suddenly, someone kicked down the front door. It was Romney, armed with two AK-47s. "I don't wanna make this hard for any of you!", Romney said. "You should've thought about that before you ran!", Caleb screamed as he got out his AK-47. Suddenly, someone hit Caleb in the side of the head with their gun. Caleb looked up. It was Jackson. "What are you doing!?", Caleb screamed out. "What's right.", Jackson said as he hit Caleb again with his gun, knocking him out.

Caleb woke up. He and the rest of the rest Real Boy Squad were tied up in Romney's suite. Romney was standing in front of them with Jackson at his side. "Why, Jackson?", Caleb said. "Romney offered me a higher price.", Jackson replied. "Besides, he'll be our new boss soon anyway." "You have one last chance before we start considering you an enemy.", Caleb said angrily. "I'm sorry.", Jackson said. Romney then handed a wad of one-hundred dollar bills to Jackson. "Good work today, son.", Romey said with his classic Republican smile. Jackson then started for the door. Suddenly, Caleb ripped open his restraints with his pocket knife and threw the knife at Romney's face. Jackson then ran off at top speed. "Stay here", Caleb said, "I'm going after Jackson."

Caleb was walking outside in the penthouse's courtyard, now raining. "I know your there!", Caleb screamed out. "Show yourself!" After a few seconds, Jackson emerged from the shadows. "I found you in the gutter, a little kid all alone, picking pockets for a living.", Caleb began to scream out. "I found you. I made you a part of this team. We all loved you like a brother! We've been like a family for years! Why would you do this to us!" "I just wanted out", Jackson explained. "I'm not fine being a government assassin. The truth is, I want to go to Japan and make anime." Caleb then pulled out his gun and aimed it at him. Jackson didn't flinch. "I understand if your mad at me.", he said. "Go ahead. With all the people I've killed, I probably deserve it." Caleb kept the gun trained on him, his hand shaking. After a few seconds, he dropped it. "I loved you like a son", Caleb said, crying. Jackson then ran forward and hugged Caleb. After what seemed like ages, Caleb let go. "I'll let you go to Japan.", Caleb said. "Thank you.", Jackson said. Suddenly, Caleb heard a bullet fire. He looked over to the balcony where he heard it. There was Cameron, sitting in a sniper position, who had just fired a bullet a Jackson. Caleb then screamed, "Nooooooo", as the bullet pierced Jackson's cheek, went through his mouth, then came out the other cheek. Jackson fell down, blood rapidly spilled from the open wounds in his mouth. Caleb bent down, him crying rapidly now. Cameron jumped down from the balcony and ran towards Caleb. Caleb got up and punched him to the ground. "All I did was get rid of the traitor!", Cameron said. Suddenly, Taylor pulled up in the Real Boy Squad's undercover van. "Get in!", Taylor screamed at Caleb. Caleb didn't want to, but he got up and went to the car, leaving Jackson behind.

 _Present Day_

Jaxxon stood by himself in front of him. "So", Caleb said, "why'd you join them?" Jackson didn't answer. "Are you tongue tied?", Caleb said with a smirk. Jaxxon then put out his hand and started doing sign language. "Shyamalan offered me a higher price.", Jaxxon replied. "Besides, he'll be your new boss soon anyway. "Good thing I started considering you an enemy a loooong time ago!", Caleb said. "I'm sorry", Jackson said as he pulled out a katana sword. Caleb then put out is hand, and his silver sword came to him, still coated from Taylor's blood. The fight then began.

Caleb went for Jaxxon's head with his sword. But, Jaxxon dodged it in time. "I don't want to hurt you.", Jaxxon sign languaged out. "Go ahead!", Caleb screamed as he took another jab at Jaxxon with his sword. It was raining now, which was extremely strange as they were in the dry part of Iraq. Finally, Jaxxon found a weak spot in Caleb's metallic armor. It was a small spot where his metallic arm met his metallic torso, but it was large enough for Jaxxon to stab it. As Caleb reacted to the blow, Jaxxon got behind him, took off a protective panel on Caleb's back, and started pulling out wires. In the end, Caleb fell over, defeated. "Go ahead", Caleb started saying, "finish me!" "Do you remember when you said you loved me like a son?", Jaxxon stated saying through sign language. "You told me that I could go live my dream. You told me to go have a life instead of being some pawn used for murder. Where's that now?! You told me that, then you had me shot in the mouth by one of your cronies!" "I'm sorry.", Caleb said in a calm nicer voice. A voice Jaxxon hadn't heard in years. Ever since I got these implants, I've been hearing voices. I've been having evil thoughts. I've been controlled by the voices! They've told me what to do and what to say. But, now you've freed me." Caleb then beckoned Jaxxon to help him up. Jaxxon was hesitant at first. But, he came around. He lifted Caleb up into a hug, one like they had all those years ago in the alley. Suddenly, Jaxxon felt a pain in his chest. He looked down. Caleb was plunging a knife into his lower abdomen. In shock, Jaxxon looked at Caleb's face. Caleb had that evil grin again. Caleb then whispered into Jaxxon's ear. "Have fun in Japan.", he said. He then let go of Jaxxon and kicked him to the ground. Minutes went by, but Jaxxon was still breathing. Caleb then sighed and grabbed Jaxxon by the throat, saying, "We can't do this the easy way, of course." Caleb walked with Jaxxon for miles until they reached a ravine. Caleb threw Jaxxon in the ravine. "Goodbye.", Caleb said. "I was about to say the same thing to you.", a voice behind Caleb replied. Caleb turned around. Shyamalan was standing there, holding a rocket launcher pointed right at Caleb. Shyamalan launched it at Caleb, knocking him into the ravine.

Caleb was somehow still alive. He got up. His technology was extremely damaged by both the blast and the fall. He then stretched out one of his index fingers. Out of it came a small blowtorch. Caleb was going to see this operation all the way through. Whatever it took him.


	30. Chapter 29

The auditorium in the Weeboz's base was usually not used. This, however, was not a usual night. It was victory night, the night Shyamalan and his Weeboz would change everything. They even had Zuumbezzi Wine, the finest wine in the world, brought in from Zuumbezi Bei. The Weeboz had to have something to help celebrate with!

Shyamlan was backstage, ready for his speech. Emm stood by him, not speaking as usual. He had everything he needed, including the golden pineapple and his injection for during the speech. Shyamlan was not wearing his golden robes for his speech though. Instead, he wore a golden tuxedo with diamonds sewed into the fabric and his infamous golden mask. Finally, he was ready. Shyamlan and Emm appeared out of the curtain and walked to the stage.

Shyamalan started his speech. "Years ago", Shyamalan began, "I assembled a group with purpose. This world was over. It's streets full of rape, death, and starvation. I realized that the day when my family all got shot by some lone gunman with no motive or purpose in life. I created the Weeboz to help me end it all. To create a better world! A world without death, and pain, and suffering, and every other bad thing in the universe! Now, we can do that with this!" Shyamalan then took the golden pineapple out of his pocket, stunning the audience. "The golden pineapple! Created by ancient man to hold an ancient weapon of immense power! Now, we can use it to create a new world! But first, the golden pineapple requires it's user to have immense power! I shall give myself that power with this!" Shyamalan then took out his injection, stunning the audience for a second time. "With the blood of Bob Moss, I will have the power!", Shyamlan screamed out. Shyamalan then rolled up sleeve, stuck the needle into his arm, and injected the liquid into his bloodstream. Shyamalan screamed in pain as his body started to change. His golden tuxedo tore as his body grew bigger. His bones became spikes as they ripped out of his back and down his neck. Finally he stood up and began to talk to the pineapple. " **You will give me the power now**!", Shyamlan screamed out, his voice now dark and gravelly. Suddenly, the golden pineapple started glowing blue. All of the veins in Shyamlan's body then began to glow the same blue as he screamed in pain again. Suddenly, he stopped. The blue light was shining across the whole room now. " **Take off your masks**!", Shyamaln screamed. " **For you are now in the presence of the light of men**!" All of the Weeboz took off their masks and started clapping. Shyamaln then took off his golden mask, crushed it in his hand, then through it unto the floor. " **Take your last breaths**!", Shyamalan said. " **For I will now create a new world**! **A better world**!" Suddenly, the golden pineapple fell out of Shyamalan's hand. The blue glow in his veins stopped. He looked around. There was no one else on stage who could've punched it off his hand. " **What is the meaning of this**!", Shyamalan said. Suddenly, the doors to the auditorium began to shake. The two guards in front of the doors went to open them. Suddenly, both off the doors violently opened with and loud "thud", crushing both the guards. Standing in the doorway was someone in a black hoodie. The person's hands were charred. The person walked in. Some people tried to stop them, but they were restrained by some sort of force. " **Who are you**?", Shyamalan asked. The person then put down the hood covering its face. The person's face was charred like it's hands, with burn scars all over its face."I'm Gale.", the person said in an Australian accent.

Earlier

Gale was dead, no doubt about it. She had been strangled by Caleb and then blown up with a hand grenade. So why was she here? She had just woken up, floating in some pink swirling place. Suddenly, what appeared to be a giant tissue box appeared out of thin air. "Who the frick are you?", Gale asked it. The tissue box responded in a soothing voice. "I am Tanisha.", it said. "I am the guardian of peace in the universe." "Oy!", Gale replied. Tanisha ignored Gale and continued with it's speech. "Recently, a man named Shyamalan has attempted to disrupt the peace in the world. I need you to stop him." "Why should I do that?", Gale asked. "I will resurrect you and give you cool witch powers." "It's a deal!", Gale said without another thought.

Gale's eyes opened. She was in a morgue, naked. Shy looked at her body. It was all burnt and charred from the grenade. She exited the room. One of the hospital workers was walking down the hall with a woman in a black hoodie. "Thank you for helping me see my son's body.", the woman said. "I hope that girl who did this rots in-..." The women stopped when she saw Gale. She screamed, but Gale put an end to that real fast. She took the hospital worker's head and banged it against the wall until it was mashed. But, the lady ran off. Suddenly, Gale reached out her hand, and the woman stopped. Gale realized that the giant tissue box wasn't lying when it said it would give Gale cool witch powers. She stole the clothes of the women and ran off to go find Shyamalan.

" **How are you alive**?", Shyamalan asked. Gale didn't answer. " **You can't stop it**. **I will create my new world**.", Shyamalan said. "My fellow Weeboz!", Gale screamed out. "You have been betrayed and lied to!" "I knew it!", a Weebo said before she slapped her husband. "Shyamalan will not create a peaceful world! He will create a world that will disrupt the balance of the universe and destroy us all!" " **Their not gonna believe you**.", Shyamalan said to Gale. But, some Weeboz in the room started whispering to each other. Shyamalan then started sweating while looking around in fear. He then quickly took his golden hand-gun out of his pants pocket and fired a bullet at Gale. But, Gale reached out her hand and the bullet stopped in mid-air. She then sent it back at Shyamalan. Shyamalan grabbed Emm and put her in front of him to use as a human shield. After the bullet hit, Shyamalan threw Emm's carcass at Gale. Gale then stuck out both her hands, stopping Emm's body in mid-air. He then clapped her hands together, causing Emm's body to explode. As Emm's blood and guts rained on the floor, more and more of the audience began to rebel against Shyamalan. Gale then began to float of of the floor. "Join me or die!", she said to the audience. Then, there was complete silence in the room. Suddenly, Weeboz members loyal to Shyamalan and Weeboz members loyal to Gale pulled out guns and started firing at each other. Gale had started a civil war, one the Weeboz may not survive

"I have to find them.", Caleb kept saying to himself. After he had crudely tried to repair his body, he had climbed out of the ravine and was now aimlessly wandering across the barren wasteland that was Iraq. He eventually fell over into the sandy dunes in defeat. "I won't d-... won't die yet!", Caleb screamed out into the wilderness. But, it was no use. The voices in Caleb's head told him to get up and to enact his revenge on the green creature and Shyamalan, but Caleb felt like dehydrated death. He closed his eyes, expecting to not open them again.

Caleb's eyes opened to gunshots and explosions. He lifted his head up. Far beyond the sandy dunes was what appeared to be a war going on. In search of food and drink, Caleb got up on his damaged, mechanical feet and went towards the war.

Caleb eventually saw the outline of a person in the shadows. Caleb took his damaged gun off his damages belt and tried to aim at the person's head. Instead, he shot the person's shoulder. As the person screamed in pain, Caleb walked over to it and shot it in the head, ending it's life. The person was a Weeboz member, without their mask, with some words written on the back of it's shirt. It read, "4 GALE". It's face was so mangled by the headshot that Caleb couldn't make out what gender it was. Caleb didn't care though, as he was chugging the canteen of water the Weeboz member had on it's belt and eating the chicken leg, (which was covered in sand from the fall), the Weeboz member had in its hand. After consuming the food and drink, Caleb looked over the horizon. It appeared that the Weeboz were having a civil war, with one side being lead by some weird physic lady and the other side being led by Shyamalan on steroids. Caleb then snuck behind on the the members fighting on Shyamalan's side with his sword out. Suddenly, he jumped up and put his sword to the member's neck. "Where is the green creature?", Caleb asked. "You mean Bob Moss?", the member replied. "That animal has a name now!", Caleb screamed. "He was killed by a hillbilly in Zuumbezzi Bei.", the member said. Caleb then slit the member's throat. The green creature couldn't be dead. It couldn't! Caleb hadn't enacted his revenge on it yet! Caleb fell down on his knees and screamed, "Noooooooo", at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, the physic lady walked up to him. "Well", she said, "how's the man who killed me doing?" "Romney?", Caleb asked. "My name's Gale gosh darn it!", Gale cried. "What happened to your face?" "It's just a little makeover." Suddenly, Caleb heard planes. He looked up. There were hundreds of fighter jets and troop carriers, all sporing the American flag, in the air. Suddenly, Caleb remembered what was supposed to happen tonight. "Trump!", Caleb screamed as one of the fighter jets launched a small bomb at them.

A robotic fist burst out of the sandy dunes. Caleb wasn't sure what had happened, but the bomb had exploded, burying him in sand. He looked around. The Weeboz were still fighting, as the U.S. fighter jets were only a nuisance. Suddenly, a troop carrier landed behind him. He got up ready for a fight. The doors opened. It was Trump himself. "Hello Ruby!", Trump said. "I vaguely remember telling you not to come out here." "I won't be your errand boy anymore!", Caleb screamed. The secret service men with Trump then pulled out their guns and aimed them at Caleb. Trump beckoned them not to shoot. Trump then looked up and down at Caleb's body. "I see the addictive stuff we put in the first arm we gave you worked.", Trump said. Trump then looked to one of his secret service men. "Tell Dr. Bartholomew that his experiment with Caleb Ruby worked.", Trump said to the man. The man said nothing, but ran off back into the troop carrier. "So Rub-", Trump was about to say before Caleb punched him in the face. "Say "Ruby" one more time and I'll-" "You'll do what?", Trump said. "Hit me again? Maybe even kill me? No! This is my night to shine! I will not let you get in my way!" He then nodded to one of the secret service men. The man walked up to Caleb and put handcuffs on him. Caleb tried to activate the mini-rocket launcher on his shoulder, but it was broken. The secret service man then brought Caleb into the troop carrier. "If you won't be useful as an assassin", Trump started yelling, "maybe you'll be useful as a science experiment!"

Caleb sat in the troop carrier for what seemed like hours. He could hear fighting outside, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had been thinking about the green creature, now named Bob Moss. Was it really dead? No, if Caleb couldn't kill it, then the hillbilly man couldn't either. He then heard large footsteps coming towards the troop carrier. He heard gunshots and people screaming outside as footsteps became closer and closer. Then they stopped. Suddenly, the metal roof above Caleb was tore open like paper. He looked up. It was Shyamalan. " **So** , **ready to die again**?", Shyamalan asked.


	31. Chapter 30

Something warm and moist licked Bob Moss' face. It woke up. It was in a cave, restrained by metal chains and locks and all the sort. It looked at the thing who licked it. It was a bear, with a name tag that read "Old Bessy". Old Bessy moaned at Bob Moss, then went off to some other area of the cave. Bob Moss looked around at the cave. It was dark, with barely any light. Bears roamed the halls. The cave walls were all plainly decorated, except for one wall. The wall had multiple pictures of a teenage girl with the word "Brandy" written all over the wall in animal blood. In the corner was a nice little fireplace, with what appeared to be a dead bear/human hybrid's head sitting on a mantle above it. Inscribed on the mantle was "Phil Morris, 2013-2018, loving son". There was a crudely made wooden door beside the fireplace. Written on the door was the words "ROOT BEER CELLAR", which slightly confused Bob Moss, as the door didn't frickin go anywhere. Suddenly Bob Moss noticed a half naked man cooking something over an open fire in the corner.

The man was singing "Cleaning this gun in a country accent as he cooked. Old Bessy walked over and tried to get what the man was cooking. The man took out a baseball back and started beating the bear into submission. " _DIS FUUD IZ FER OUR GUEZT_!", the man yelled in a familiar voice. " _ **HOO ARE YOU**_?!", Bob Moss yelled at Landon. Landon turned around. " _YER AWAEK_ ", Landon said. He took whatever he was cooking and put it on a plate. He then ran over to Bob Moss and handed it the plate. Whatever that was on the plate was black, hard, and charred. " _FRIED COAL_ ", Landon squealed out. Bob Moss couldn't try the fried coal anyway, as his hands were tied behind it's back. " _SO AZ I WAZ SAYIN_ ", Landon began, " _I WANNA AZZEMBL DA REEL_ _ **MAN**_ _SQAD FER A PERPOSE_. _I WANNA TAEK OVA DA WERLD AND MAEK COAL MININ REALY LIT AGEN_." They then both heard a noise. One of Landon's bears was throwing up the fried fish heads he had fed them earlier. Landon excused himself and went to go beat the crap out of it. Using it's chance, Bob Moss looked around for a root of escape. Eventually, it saw Landon's phone sitting on a counter next to it. It easily broke free of it's restraints and walked over to the phone to call Shyamalan and the Weeboz. The phone rang for a few seconds, but then someone answered. No one poke on the call, but Bob Moss could hear gunshots and people screaming. It hung up and put down the phone. " _DEW U NO WUT U JUZT DID_!", Landon screamed. " _DEY NO DAT IEM HERE NOW_!"

Mike Pence was at Area fifty-two. He was walking down to the main command center after one of the generals tipped him that they had just gotten the location of Landon Morris' headquarters, Boone County. He walked in. The generals were having a Skype call with Trump, who was off fighting the Weeboz in Iraq. "Sir", Pence said, "we have the location of Landon Morris' headquarters." "Wipe him out with Space Force Weapon #14.", Trump replied. "I won't let that weirdo get away this time. One single-reactor ignition should be good." Trump exited the Skype call, leaving Pence. Pence got out his mini remote control thing for Space Force Weapon #14. He put in the coordinates and set it for a single-reactor ignition. He pressed the button. Suddenly, the moon moved to where the superlaser Trump installed would be facing the coordinates. Then, it fired. A green laser emitted from the moon and went to Boone County.

Landon had Bob Moss on the floor in a headlock. Suddenly, Landon became distracted from a rumbling outside. Bob Moss took it's chance and kicked Landon in the nutter butters one final time to escape. Bob Moss ran out the cave, ready to had back to Iraq. Then Bob Moss saw it. A green laser from the moon hit just a few miles away from from, causing a massive explosion. The explosion then started to get closer and closer, so Bob Moss decided to run the other way. Eventually, it got to Landon's teleporter that he stole from Nixon back in the day. The coordinates for the Weeboz base was already punched in, so Bob Moss just pushed the button, hoping to go back.

Bob Moss was laying down in the dirt. It got up. It was surrounded by flames and it heard gunshots in the distance. This couldn't be the Weeboz base, could it?


	32. Chapter 31

Caleb was almost dead. He was tied to a chair, surrounded by Weeboz who were beating him mercilessly. "Hit him again!", Shyamalan cried out. The Weeboz members did as told, and kept beating on Caleb. One punching his face, one stabbing his weak spots, and one shocking him with a taser. Finally, it stopped. Shyamalan walked up to him. "You are the reason we lost today.", Shyamalan said. "You made Gale die and be resurrected and you will suffer for it." Shyamalan then punched Caleb in the face with his big, meaty hand. "But clearly, that wasn't enough!", Shyamalan said before he started to laugh at Caleb's suffering. They all started to laugh. Shyamalan then picked up the chair Caleb was in and threw it across the room as they continued to laugh. Shyamalan walked over to him and ripped him from his restraints. He grabbed Caleb and, holding him sideways, slams him against his knee, hurting his back. He then threw him to the ground as the he and others still laughed at Caleb's pain. He could hear explosions, gunshots, and people screaming from outside the war was still going on.

Trump received a Skype call. It was Pence. "What!", Trump answered. "Space Force Weapon #14 was a success sir.", Pence responded. "I recommend that you evacuate your troops and we end the war using the weapon." Trump then exited the call. He wouldn't use his weapon to do a man's work.

Pence was mad. He couldn't believe that his all-mighty leader Trump had said no to him again. He was sure that after being his slave for sixteen years and giving him more foot rubs than Trump's divorces, he would have more power. He got out his mini remote control thing for Space Force Weapon #14. He put in the coordinates and set it for a full ignition. He was about to press the button when a random general who was in the room tackled him to the floor. He then got off of Pence, pulled out a gun, and blew off the arm that was holding the remote. "You can't fire that mechanical monstrosity while the President's down there!", the general screamed out.

Bob Moss was in great shock. This was really the Weeboz base. It then saw a group of people approaching out of the fire. They were Weeboz members, but they looked like Hot Topic employees. They all didn't wear masks, wore eyeshadow, and had the words "4 GALE" on each of their backs. " _ **HOO**_?", Bob Moss said in confusion. "Are you with Shyamalan or Gale?", what appeared to be the leader asked Bob Moss. "I know him.", another one said. "He's Shyamalan's pet!" "Then", the leader responded, "he will die!" The people raised up their guns and began to riddle Bob Moss with bullets. It fell over in pain. The bullets couldn't kill it, but they stung. Eventually, they stopped. One of the people went over to Bob Moss, put an electric collar on its neck, and slowly backed away. "Let's go!", the leader said to Bob Moss. Bob Moss did not respond. "I said let's go!", the leader said as she got out the controls for the electric collar. Bob Moss screamed, " _ **HOOOOOO**_!", in pain as the collar shocked his body. Bob Moss got up, not wanting to experience any more pain. The same person that put the electric collar on Bob Moss now came and put a pair of handcuffs on it. "Let's go!", the leader screamed out one final time. Bob Moss complied and let them take it to whatever place they wanted to.

"I think he's had enough!", Shyamalan screamed. Caleb was barely breathing now and sadly still conscious. He laid in the dirt. Blood was everywhere. Shyamalan nodded to one of the Weeboz and a handful of men came and picked Caleb up from the floor and carried him outside. They then threw him on the ground to die and left. The voices in Caleb's head were screaming at him to get up and go destroy the green creature, Shyamalan, Trump, and everyone else who opposed him. But, Caleb couldn't. All of his parts were broken beyond repair and he was dying. He then fell from consciousness, expecting death to come.

 _1972_

 _INDIANA_

Caleb wasn't expecting the principal to come and get him out of class. He walked out to the hall with him. "Thank you for getting me out of Ms. Culp's pop quiz Mr. Stilgenbauer!", Caleb said with glee. "Kid", Mr. Stilgenbauer said, "your momma's cancers gotten worse." All color and happiness then drained from his face. "She said she wanted to see you before she goes. I'm sorry kid." Caleb wasn't paying attention to what he said, as he was running to the nearest exit of the school. He ran out to his bike, which he unchained and got on.

The ride to the hospital took thirty minutes. When Caleb got their, he ran into the place at full force, not even tying his bike up. He ran up the stairs to the third floor. After some looking, he found it. Room number 329. He ran in. There was his mother, sitting in her bed. "Caleb?", she weekly said. "I'm here momma, I'm here!", Caleb said. "Caleb's here!" "You've been a good boy.", his mother said. She reached out her hand. Caleb took it and held on like he was holding on for dear life. "Your not like you father.", she said. "That rotten piece of scum! I hope he burns wherever he went! He took all our money! I oughta get out of this bed and go whoop him right now!" Caleb looked at her heartbeat. It was rising fast. "Calm down momma!", he said. She stopped, and looked at Caleb. "I'm sorry.", she whispered. She then put her head back. Caleb looked. Her vitals stopped. "Help!", Caleb started screaming. "Help us! Please, her heart's not beating!" Suddenly, nurses and doctors came into the room. One told Caleb to get out. He did as he was asked.

 _PRESENT_

 _DAY_

Caleb woke up. He was on the floor. He looked around. The room was full of ex-Weeboz with Gale in the center. "I think this belongs to you", she said. They then nodded to her assistant, who holding Caleb's silver sword. The assistant gave it back to him. "I would like to make an alliance with you.", Gale said. Caleb didn't say anything. "As, you see, I have already repaired your body with my magic." Caleb still didn't respond. She then looked at a group of her soldiers, which were blocking something from Caleb's view. They parted, revealing the green creature tied up in a chair and wearing a shock collar. "If you swear your allegiance", she continued, "I will let you kill this creature." "But what if I just kill all of you creeps, take that creature, and we call it even.", Caleb said. "You won't do that.", Gale said. "Why wouldn't I?" Gale took out an AR-15 and got behind the creature. "I'll kill it." Caleb stood still for several seconds. He eventually got down on his hands and knees and started worshipping Gale. "That's a good boy!", Gale said. "Now, your gonna help me get the golden pineapple." "That wasn't the deal!", Caleb yelled. "I am altered the deal", Gale responded, "pray that I don't alter it any further. Gale then walked out. Caleb knew that the golden pineapple was an ancient myth, but it couldn't really be here, could it?

Trump was sitting down in the chair he had brought, grasping the golden pineapple. His troops had found it in the Weeboz auditorium, abandoned. Could this be the mystical golden pineapple of legend. Trump didn't think so. He was an atheist at heart, of course. No supernatural weapon could exist, because the supernatural didn't exist. Suddenly, he heard something coming over towards the base. He looked up. It was Shyamalan and the rest of his goons. " **The golden pineapple is mine**!", Shyamalan screamed. Trump got up and, golden pineapple in hand, started walking towards Shyamalan. Trump got out his hand-gun. Shyamalan was now galloping towards him on all fours like an animal. Trump got his gun and aimed. When Shyamalan got into range, Trump fired. A bullet ran into Shyamalan's skull. "Some leader you got here!", Trump exclaimed. Suddenly, a blade went through Trump's chest and came out his back. Blood squirted out as the golden pineapple fell from Trump's hand. He looked. It was Caleb. "I'm impressed Ru-... Ruby.", Trump said. Caleb ripped the blade from his back and he fell to the floor. Caleb then took his gun out of the holster on his belt and shot Trump in the head, ending his life with a bang. Caleb then felt bullets hit his body from all sides. He was caught in the crossfire between the Weeboz and the U.S. military. He then took out his phone and called Gale. "Trump and Shyamalan are down.", Caleb said before ending the call. Suddenly, Gale and her troops appeared from over the horizon. The battle had reached its climax.

Bob Moss was sitting in the middle of the battle still tied to it's chair. It looked around. All of the members of Gale's gang were gone. It burst free of it's chains and ripped the shock collar of off it's neck. It looked around. Then it saw him. Shyamalan was on the ground, dieing. Bob Moss ran over to him. " **Bob Moss**?", Shyamalan said. " **Is it really you**?" Bob Moss nodded it's head yes. "You need to stop him!", Shyamalan screamed out. " **The man…., the Fortnite man**. **Sweeny** , **at** -... **at Epic Games**. **You have to** -... **You have to stop him**. **Not that much time left**. **Make my new world for me, please**." Shyamalan died. Immediately, it screamed out, " _ **HOO**_!", repeatedly at the top of it's lungs. Then, someone threw knives into it's back. It turned around. It was the man. The man that was there when it was born. The man that hunted it. The man who hated it. The man took out his silver sword, ready to fight. Bob Moss charged at him. The man smiled and kicked the creature. He then took out a gun and shot the creature in the stomach. But, Bob Moss didn't feel that much pain. It was determined to kill the man. It went and scratched the man's face with it's claws. But, the man strangely didn't feel anything. To prove this, he shot Bob Moss again in the chest. As it was recovering, the man took out a hook attached to a long rope and stuck the rope in Bob Moss' back. He then started dragging the creature along the sand. "I bet Shyamalan taught you that you mean something, that you're here for a reason.", the man started. "My momma taught me a different lesson. Dieing in some gutter hospital, for no reason at all. She taught me that the world only makes sense if you force it to. You were never a god. You were never even a man. You were just a thing. A thing I'm going to snuff out once and for all." The man then started swinging Bob Moss around in the air using the rope. Eventually, he let go and Bob Moss went flying. He then ran to were Bob Moss had landed. There, he saw it. The golden pineapple, lying there in the sand. He bent down and picked it up. "So it is real.", the man said. Bob Moss then got up and tried to grab the golden pineapple from the man. So began the greatest tug-of-war game in history. Bob Moss on one side, the man on the other. Each pulling the golden pineapple to one side. They, unfortunately, failed to notice the cracks forming on the golden pineapple. They both started screaming, as the pain became almost unbearable. Suddenly, it broke in half. A blue flash of light occured, and they were gone.

"Sir", Mike Pence heard someone say, "Trump's down." Immediately, He grabbed the controls, still on the floor, and pressed the button. The moon turned towards Iraq. The superlaser fired up. Cracks started forming on the moon due to the immense power it was creating. When it fired, the moon exploded. The gigantic green laser beam shot down towards Iraq, consuming the entire country. Everyone died, except for Gale, who escaped through some magic portal she conjured up with her witch powers.

Caleb and Bob Moss were still fighting. They were in some sort of wormhole. Caleb eventually pushed Bob Moss out of the side of the wormhole. Caleb then jumped out himself for the heck of it. They landed somewhere snowy. Bob Moss felt almost paralyzed. Suddenly, Caleb walked over him. Caleb, looking near death, rose up his sword in one final attempt to vanquish the creature. A bullet hit his weak spot. He turned around. There were a group of men wearing Swastika armbands. Caleb fell over in defeat. The men crowded over them. The last thing Bob Moss heard was, "Heil Hitler!"

 _End of Part 2_


	33. Chapter 32

*Most German speech in Part 3 of Bob Moss is converted to English for your personal enjoyment

November 17th, 1943

Secret Nazi Science Base, Netherlands

"Doctor List", Hitler said, "progress report." Doctor List, the head of the secretish Nazi science devision S.E.R.P.H.E.N.T., was standing in front of a television screen with Hitler's mustached face on it. "One notable thing to report my Fuhrer.", Doctor List reported. "We found a metal man in the snow last night. We think that it might have been an experiment made by the Americans. If this is true, my Fuhrer, then the Americans' technology may be more advanced than we had thought." "The Americans are not as advanced as us.", Hitler said. If they can make metal men then why not blow us to smithereens already? They have nothing but guns, grenades, and the clothes on their backs. But, we have so much more than that. We are Germany. We are mighty. I hope you remember that Doctor List. Anything else to report?" "Oh yes", Doctor List said, " we found a green man too."

Doctor List burst out of the room, the last thing he heard screamed being, "I'll be there soon to examine the alien!" Doctor List walked down many corridors until reaching his destination. A small examination room full of scientists studying the green man that Hitler believed was an alien. Without words, Doctor List somehow got most of the people out of the room in a minute. The only ones left were him, Doctor Schmit, and two nurses. Doctor List then took out an audio recorder and started his analysis. "The creature seems to be of supernatural origin.", Doctor List said. "It appears to be in some sort of comatose like state. The creature has multiple burn scars, a stab wound which goes from it's back to its chest, bullet indentations across its entire body, and one final scar on it's back from what appears to be a giant fishing hook. On the creature's physical appearance, it has green skin throughout its entire body. It's hair is shaved down to the scalp, but it does have some partially burnt facial hair. It has the long clawed fingers and sharp teeth of a predator. There are no signs of an anus or private parts. However, the creature was found wearing undergarments printed with "attractive cartoon women'', so the idea of it having those things are yet to be ruled out." Doctor List then stopped recording and peered out to the creature's face. "What are you?", he asked himself. Suddenly, the creature's eyes opened.


	34. Chapter 33

"I did what you asked.", Gale said. She was back in Tanisha's realm, explaining to her about Shyamalan's defeat and death. "Very good Mai Child.", Tanisha said. "I will now take away your ability to make quippy comebacks after people joke about your gothyness." "Oi!", Gale screamed. "That wasn't part of the deal!" "I said that you could keep your cool witch powers, not your comebacks." "But I killed Shyamalan!" "You didn't kill his legacy though.", Tanisha explained. "Bob Moss is still alive." "But that's impossible!", Gale shouted. "Everyone there died whenever Pence blew up Iraq!" "Not exactly. Bob Moss was swept away to another place and time before the Decimation of Iraq." "So, if I were to kill Bob Moss", Gale started, "then I'd get my quips back?" "Yes.", Tanisha responded. "It's a deal!", Gale excitedly said. "Where is it anyway?" "That you must figure out on your own.", Tanisha said before whisking Gale back to her own realm."

Gale woke up. Her body laid in a New York alley. She got up and looked at herself. Thinking that she couldn't go look for Bob Moss like this, she conjured up a handgun and walked out into the street. Walking on the sidewalk was a girl, perfect. Gale slowly made her way up through the crowds until she was directly behind the woman. She put the gun on the woman's back and quietly whispered to the woman to go into the nearest alley. "I don't have that much money on me.", the woman said once they got to the alley. "What's your name?", Gale asked. "T-...Tiffany.", the woman said. Then without warning, Gale kissed Tiffany's mouth with her decomposed jaw. Tiffany screamed, but no one could here her. After a few seconds, Gale's body fell to the ground and melted into black goo. Gale then looked at her new body. "Sufficient.", she said to herself as she opened a portal to the battle site.

The aftermath of the battle was like something out of a Mad Max film. The land was dry, barren, and covered by skeletons. Gale had a shield up around her to protect herself from the radiation as she searched for the place where Bob Moss was transported through time and space. Suddenly, she sensed a spike in radiation. Gale bent over and slowly put her shielded hands into the radiation. From the radiation, she opened a trace portal, which she immediately stepped through. Where she ended up was dark and cold, with lots of trees secluding the area. Suddenly, Gale heard voices and guns loading behind her. She turned around, hands in the air. A group of Nazi soldiers stood in front of her, all wearing Swastika armbands and wielding 1940's guns. "Identify yourself!", one of them said in German. Suddenly, pulses of dark energy started pulsing from Gale's hands. The Nazi soldiers fell back. "I'm your new leader.", Gale replied in German. Suddenly, all the soldiers got up, before bending over and chanting, "Hail Gale".


	35. Chapter 34

Caleb woke up with a scream. He was surrounded by German speaking Nazi scientists in a dim room. He frantically looked around. His robotic limbs were gone, as well as most of his torso. His screams were finally stopped whenever a Nazi scientist stabbed him in the neck with a long needle filled with a strange blue substance. The Nazi scientist then began to ask him questions in English. "Who do you work for?", the Nazi scientist asked. Caleb tried to resist blurting out the answer, but whatever the scientist gave him was effective. "The U.S. government!", Caleb finally blurted out. "Why did they send you?" "I was accidently sent here by unknown means." "What is your name?" "William C. Ruby." The Nazi scientist then turned to one of his cohorts. "Run a background check on William C. Ruby in the military registration database.", the man said in German. The other scientist nodded and exited the room. Minutes later, the man came back and said that there were no matches in the database. The main Nazi scientist then looked at Caleb. "Why do you lie?", he asked. "I-...", Caleb started to say before being cut off. "This will be fun.", the scientist said as he pulled out some sort of Nazi torture device shaped like a box. As Caleb watched in horror, the scientist pushed a button on the box, causing a long, metal stick to shoot out of it. He put the stick in Caleb's mouth. As Caleb closed his one eye in fearful anticipation, the scientist pressed another button, causing a painful amount of electricity to fill Caleb's mouth. The scientist then left the room, saying that the other scientists to call him back when Caleb would be a good boy. As the electricity filled his mouth, he saw a scientist bend down and whisper something in his ear. "Welcome to Germany.", he whispered in German.


	36. Chapter 35

Hitler arrived during the early morning hours of November 19th, 1943. Immediately his nostrils were engulfed with the stench of spilled German blood. As he walked through the hallways, he saw the mutilated corpses of soldiers scattered all over the floor. Eventually, he turned to Dr. List, who was walking beside him to the Bob Moss' cell. "If this alien is as powerful as it seems," Hitler said, "then we may use it to destr-..." Hitler stopped talking whenever he saw the green creature. Then there was silence. "Who the frick is that hot mama?", Hitler whispered to Dr. List after a few seconds. Dr. List, confused, looked over to his Fuhrer. "That's the green creature, my Fuhrer.", he said. "That's no alien.", Hitler replied. "That must be some hot German woman!" Dr. List looked at Hitler, then at the Bob Moss, and finally back at Hitler. "I need a drink.", he said before walking off towards the cafeteria to find himself a non-alcoholic substance to put inside his body. Hitler then asked the guards to open Bob Moss' cell. "But my Fuhrer," one of the guards started to say, "that creature is extremely dangerous." Hitler then pulled out his handgun and put it to the guard's head. The guard started to understand Hitler better and opened to door. Hitler entered and walked up to Bob Moss. Bob Moss was chained up to the wall and muttering, " _ **HOO**_!", to itself. Hitler bent over near it and started to talk to it. "So what's a sexy German woman like yourself doing out here in the Netherlands.", he said with a dashing Nazi smile. Bob Moss, not able to understand German, only looked at him and muttered, " _ **HOO**_!" Hitler bent over closer to Bob Moss' face. "So I know this really good place in Berlin.", Hitler replied. "I was wondering if you would want to go with me tomorrow on a date." Without answering, Bob Moss opened it's mighty jaws and went to bite Hitler's mouth off. But, with it being so weak, it was unable to. Hitler rose up. Not expecting what Hitler would do, Bob Moss put it's head down, ready for blow to the head. But Hitler only said, "I'm sorry, but where I come from kissing is not how you address a person when you meet them." Hitler then walked out of the room. Once out of the room, Hitler told one of the guards, "Get her ready for transport to Berlin.", before walking off.


	37. Chapter 36

Bob Moss woke up to the smell of food and racism. It was in a fancy restaurant and sitting at a table with Hitler. "Oh, you're awake my darling.", Hitler said. Bob Moss looked at itself. It was dressed in a sparkly pink dress and was wearing a blonde wig. Suddenly, a waiter walked up to them carrying a large bottle. "Your wine my Fuhrer.", he said before pouring wine into Hitler's glass. He then looked at Bob Moss. "Your wine madam.", he said before pouring wine into Bob Moss' glass. Hitler picked up his glass and took a big gulp of the wine before he started talking to Bob Moss. "So what do you do for a living, my sexy beast.", he said. Before Bob Moss could respond with a simple " _ **HOO**_ ", Hitler began talking about himself. "Oh I wanted to become an artist but those stupid Jewish people woudn't let me!", Hitler said. "They said that I was a psychopath, but I'm perfectly sane! They were like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!" After guzzling down both his and Bob Moss' wine, Hitler screamed at the waiter to bring him more. After a minute, the waiter returned with a bottle of Germany's finest wine, aged fifty years. "Your wine my Fuhrer.", the waiter said before Hitler grabbed the bottle out of his hands and started chugging it like a madman. "My Fuhrer", the waiter started, "this certainly cannot be good for your health." "Shut up!", `Hitler yelled. "You're not my mom! Both of my parents are dead! And I killed one of them!" Hitler then got up and unlocked Bob Moss from it's chains. "Let's go dancing!", he said. He pulled Bob Moss over to the dance floor before collapsing onto the floor. "I'm a hooot mama!", he screamed out before passing out. Seeing it as it's chance to escape, Bob Moss ran over to the door. As it prepared to open it, someone flung the door open, crushing Bob Moss. Standing in the doorway was a girl with long black ebony hair with purple streaks and red tips. She had icy blue eyes like limpid tears, (like Amy Lee), and pale white skin. She was wearing a black corset with a matching lace, a black leather mini-skirt, pink fishnets, and black combat boots, all bought from Hot Topic. Plastered on her face was black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner, and red eyeshadow. The girl was dressed for the occasion. She then started to speak. "Where the frick is Bob Moss?", she said.


	38. Chapter 37

A nurse walked into Caleb's room. Caleb himself was in pretty bad shape. He turned his head to talk to the nurse. "Who the frick are you?", he said. He could barely speak after the torture. "I'm a spy with the U.S. military.", the nurse said. "I'm here to rescue you." "Hurry", Caleb started, "put my limbs back on." He beckoned the nurse over to a small table where his limbs were kept. The scientists had reduced his limbs to only an endoskeleton and wiring. He wasn't even sure if they would work. The nurse turned to Caleb and slowly screwed his right arm on. Caleb tried moving the arm and it worked. The nurse turned around and bent over to get his left arm. Suddenly, Caleb got an idea. In her back pocket was a handgun. Caleb reached over with his hand and gently grabbed it. When the nurse turned around, she saw Caleb preparing to blow her brains out. She raised her hands up in defeat. "Screw the other ones on.", Caleb commanded. In fear, the nurse did as she was asked. After a few minutes, Caleb could walk again. He got up, gun still pointed at the nurse. "You wouldn't shoot a lady.", she said, tears in her eyes. "Honey", Caleb started, "I'm not from the 40's." Caleb pulled the trigger and a bullet went into her chest. As the lady breathed her last breath, Caleb started unscrewing the air vent in hopes to escape. By the time the guards arrived, he was long gone.

As Caleb was climbing in the vents, he saw something interesting. Below him was Hitler's private quarters. He opened a vent opening a jumped out. He knew that he would need a way to find the creature, so thought that looking through Hitler's private collection of occult books would help him find it's location. He knew that it had been transferred to Berlin, he just needed to know where in Berlin. He opened up one of the books and started skimming through it. Suddenly, he heard a gun click behind him. He turned around. It was Doctor List. "I suggest you put that back and sit down.", he said in German. Caleb started to reach for the handgun at his side before List fired a warning shot. He sat down as List requested. "Who are you?", he said as he sat down in the cair next to Caleb. "I know your not from this time. You're robotics are to advanced." "Show me how to locate someone and I'll tell you everything.", Caleb responded. Doctor List got up and walked over to the bookshelf. He took out a book titled " _How to be Goth and Look Good Doing it_ " and tore a page out. "That's all you need to know.", he said before handing the page to Caleb. "Now tell me everything." "I come from 2018.", Caleb said. "I'm here hunting the creature you captured." "Did we win the war?", List said. "Not by a longshot." List's brow became furrowed. "That idiot Hitler's gonna get us all killed." "There's something else I should mention.", Caleb started. "Ever since I got my upgrades I've been hearing voices. They influence me. They tell me what to do. They've made me do horrible things. This is my endgame. I'm gonna end myself after I kill the creature. The voices tell me not to do it, but I know I have to. But, they won't let me do it. The only reason they're letting me tell you this now is because it serves as a pretty good distraction." Before Doctor List could respond. Caleb fired his handgun. The bullet pierced through his eye as he screamed in pain. Caleb booked it and ran back into the vents, page in hand. The last thing he heard were List's screams.

After hours of crawling, Caleb made it to the sewage pipe that fed out into a small pond. Caleb jumped out onto the frozen water and ran back to the ground. There, he collapsed onto the ground in happiness. He had escaped and he could finally end the creature once and for all.


	39. Chapter 38

"Who are you?", one of the waiters cried out upon seeing some emo lady standing in the doorway. "I'm Gale!", she yelled. She walked into the room with several armed soldiers behind her. "Find Bob Moss!", she screamed to them. They immediately started searching the room for the green creature. Luckily Bob Moss was hiding were no one would ever look for it, under the couch. Suddenly, a soldier turned over the couch and found it. Bob Moss got up and started running towards the exit, frantically yelling, " _ **HOO**_!". Bob Moss shot out the door and ran up the stairs towards the roof. "The creature's escaping!", one of the soldiers yelled to Gale who the caressing the unconscious Hitler's hair. "You're not my mom!", she yelled. "Both of my parents are dead! And I killed one of them!"

Bob Moss opened the door to the roof. It ran to the edge to see if it could jump off. Below it was a freezing river of death. It turned around. Gale was here. She didn't look the same but Bob Moss could recognize her stench from a mile away. " _ **HOO**_!", it screamed as it charged at Gale. But, Gale put out both her hands and it started levitating in the air. As Bob Moss flew up into the air, Gale started thinking harder than she ever had before. Bob Moss started feeling itself being torn apart. Suddenly, Gale started screaming as she pulled Bob Moss in half. Finally, she pulled her arms separate ways. Bob Moss ripped in half, spraying Gale with green blood as the creature's steaming organs fell onto the roof. Gale then threw it into the river and started crying as she fell to the ground. Suddenly, she felt a gun being put to her head. She turned her head. It was Caleb. "How did you find me?", she asked timidly. "Hitler had some very interesting books.", he responded. "Make me a portal to where we came from, now." "No.", Gale said. Caleb hit Gale with the gun. "I know you're too weak to survive a bullet to the skull!", he said. Reluctantly, Gale raised her hand and opened a portal. Caleb walked over to the portal. "Pleasure doing business with you!", he said before firing a bullet a Gale and jumping through the portal. He arrived into the present just before Gale's magic went dry and the portal died. He looked around. He was in modern Berlin. Caleb had his plan already figured out. He would wait until time travel became possible and then go back in time to kill the creature. It would be his only hope, or so he thought

Gale awakened in Tanisha's realm. "Gale!", Tanisha yelled. "You have been killed!" "But I thought you said I was immortal?!", Gale said. "Only with magic stupid.", Tanisha replied. "And now you have no magic. Farewell Gale, I wish you good travels." Gale could say nothing before her life flashed before he eyes, and then darkness.


	40. Chapter 39

The two parts of Bob Moss floated downstream for years. Eventually, the left one was lost to time and the right one only remained. One day, the right part of Bob Moss drifted onto a beach of an undiscovered island. The island natives believed that Bob Moss was a god and took its body to be displayed in a gold chamber. As Bob Moss slowly grew back over the next seventy-one years, it would be worshipped by the natives and become woven into their culture. They believed that Bob Moss was the son of the god Deevdan and would accept them into the after-life only through blood sacrifice. They even made statues of it. It was a phenomenon, until it awakened.

Bob Moss woke up. It was sitting in a gold case in front of a bunch of naked people. It got up and started yelling " _ **HOO**_ " at the top of it's lungs. As it ran towards the end of the island, it noticed the naked people following it. Afraid for it's life, Bob Moss jumped into a boat and escaped. The last thing it could remember was Gale ripping it in half. It sat in that boat for days until it landed in the docks of New York. Immediately, military personnel surrounded and tranquilized it. The last thing Bob Moss saw was their faces as it descended it slumber.


	41. Chapter 40

Bob Moss woke up. It was in a steel room with a team of scientists and one businessman. The businessman noticed Bob Moss. "Oh, your awake!", the man said. "I'm Tim Sweeny. The man who created Fortnite!" Suddenly, Bob Moss started having flashbacks. He was back in Iraq, next to Shyamalan's dying body. " **You need to stop him**!", Shyamalan screamed out. " **The** **man** …., **the Fortnite man**. **Sweeny** , **at** -... **at Epic Games**. **You have to** -... **You have to stop** **him**. **Not that much time left**. **Make my new world for me** , **please**." Bob Moss screamed, " _ **HOO**_!", upon realizing that this was the man that his dead father-figure hated. Suddenly, the room went dark. Multiple people wearing red robes decorated with pentagrams then entered the room. They gave Sweeny and the scientists matching robes, which they put on. Sweeny turned to Bob Moss. "You see us at Epic Games kinda worship the devil and we want to use the cringe of our fans to summon the anti-Christ.", Sweeny explained. "And we can't really do that while your not restrained because we're afraid you're gonna somehow defeat us. Our plan will be demonstrated here for your convenience. Here we shall show you what control we have over a child." Sweeny then turned to a glass one-way-mirror, where a man with blue hair was talking to a small child and his family. "So", the blue haired man started, "do you like Fortnite?" "YES I LOVE FORTNITE FORTNITE IS LIKE MY FAVORITE GAME I LOVE FORTNITE I LOVE YOU NINJA!", the child screamed. "I don't know what you do to make those games so fun, but our little Timmy sure loves it!", the father of the family said. Ninja then bent over to the child and said, "If you kill your parents, I'll give you free V-bucks." The parents laughed. "My son loves me!", the father said. "He wouldn't-..." The father looked down to see a knife stuck in his chest. He screamed as the child took out the knife and used it like a boomerang to kill his fleeing mother. Ninja then left the room as it started to fill with V-bucks. The small child stripped down to his underwear and started performing Fortnite dances as he got rich in V-bucks. Bob Moss looked at Sweeny. It felt uncontrollable rage build up inside it. Eventually, it blurted out, " _ **I WON'T LET HOO DEW DIZ**_!", it screamed before breaking free of it's chains. It slashed a cultist in the face before running out of the room. As Epic Games security ran after him, Bob Moss successfully exited the front door. After twenty minutes of running, the security abandoned their foot chase and decided to walk back to get their cars. However, after hours of searching, they still couldn't find it. Bob Moss was in it's ultimate hiding space, a bush. Eventually, it got out of the bush and started down the highway, not sure what to do next.

Bob Moss turned around to see a truck heading right for it. Bob Moss was dragged under and run over by it. It eventually got up. The truck stopped. A man got out. He was wearing a cowboy and boots. Bob Moss recognized him by that alone. It was Landon.


	42. Chapter 41

" _EY DER MOZZY_!", Landon cried out before he tackled Bob Moss to the ground. Bob Moss punched him in the nose, causing him to get up and scream in pain like a loser. " _DAT FORTNITE DUED TOL' ME DAT E'LL GID ME SOME CA$H IF I KIL U_!", Landon started. " _BUT I'D DEW DAT ANYWAE_! _U BLEW UP ME HOUS_!" During the time that Landon was monologuing, Bob Moss had already made it some ways down the road. Landon started to run after him. " _WHERE DEW U FINK UR GOIN_?", Landon said before grabbing Bob Moss. He put a chain around Bob Moss' neck and tied it to the back of his truck. Landon started the vehicle and "Old Town Road" started playing at max volume. Landon started down the road, dragging Bob Moss along. Suddenly, a black substance emerged from the road and grabbed Landon's truck. Landon got out and began to beat it with a stick. It formed a body, picked up Landon, and threw him somewhere over the rainbow. The black figure, now with a robotic head walked over to Bob Moss and grabbed it. " _ **HOO ARE YOU**_!", it screamed out. "Don't you recognize me?", the figure started. "I'm Caleb."


	43. Chapter 42

_One Year Earlier…_

Caleb arrived through the portal. He was in Berlin, but more modern. He looked down. The river that had taken Bob Moss had now almost dried up. He entered the stairwell. The building looked as it had been for years. After minutes of walking down staircases, Caleb finally arrived outside. It was bleak. It looked like he was in the bad side of Berlin. He walked around. Playing on the news was coverage of the Battle of Iraq. It looked like he had arrived almost exactly when he left. Suddenly, he turned around. People were gathering around him. "We don't like out-of-towners!", one said. Caleb then pulled out the hand-gun he had stolen from the nurse. The people said nothing as Caleb backed away and got in a taxi. He put the gun to the driver and said, "Drive as far as you can toward the nearest airport." The driver did as requested, and began driving.

 _Six Months Later…_

For months Caleb had hid in India. He had hijacked a plane and went there in the commotion of the frickin' moon blowing up. He lived in a vacant house and rarely went into town to get food and water. He refused to do anything else, as he was anticipating Bob Moss' return. He knew that it had the ability to grow back, he just had to wait until it appeared again. One day, Caleb went into town to sell whatever livestock he had for food and water. He quickly noticed that many of the townsfolk were gathered in the center of the market. Intrigued, Caleb moved forward to check out the commotion. He saw that there was a little Indian boy with one arm sitting on a tree stump with a white man hovering over it. The man was installing some sort of device into the back of the boy's head. Suddenly, the man began to speak in Indian. "All done!", he said enthusiastically. He then pulled out a plastic bag with what appeared to be little black fibers in it. "Now focus.", the man said. The boy then started to stare at the bag. After a few seconds of deep concentration, the fiber began to move outside the bag. The fiber crawled up the buy's stump and formed into an arm. The boy then lifted his arm up. "Congratulations", the man started, "you're fixed." The boy fell down to the ground and began to cry tears of joy. The townsfolk cheered. Everyone was happy except for Caleb, who was still standing there, entranced by the man.

The man screamed. Caleb had kidnapped him and taken him to a dark room, where he was repeatedly hitting him. "What's your name?!", Caleb screamed. "I'm Bill!", the man screamed. "Bill Dunston!" Caleb stepped back and said, "I want the power you hold." Bill only looked at him before bending over and bursting into tears.

"This might hurt a little.", Bill said before stabbing a wire into Caleb's brain. Caleb screamed as the doctor ran over to a machine to check Caleb's readings. "The wire has been successfully connected to your cerebrum.", he said. "I pray that you will be okay during the procedure." Caleb then put his head down and started thinking about what led him here. Weeks earlier he had captured Dunston and forced him to tell him about what he did to the Indian boy. He said that he had created tiny robotic fibers that, when controlled by an implant implanted into the brain, could be controlled and shifted as the user desired. But that was not good enough for him. He had the doctor do a check on him soon after and it was revealed that Caleb was dieing. It turned out that Taylor had incorrectly installed his first robotic arm, leading to the voices in his head. It also caused him to develop a rare form of blood cancer that was killing him. Dunston then presented to him an alternate idea. A blueprint that he had designed years ago but scrapped because of the deadly effects to the user if it failed. In the plan, the user would upload their consciousness into a robotic head, which would then allow them to control the fibers and, theoretically, use them as a body. Caleb accepted the risks and forced Dunston to perform the procedure on him. And here he was now, about to exit his physical form and go to a digital one. It was almost poetic. The warrior who at first despised technology now became so obsessed with it that he would become it. Finally, Caleb said, "Do it." Dunston flipped a lever, causing the process to begin. Caleb screamed as his soul was sucked away from his body and put into a new, robotic one. As the doctor looked on in amazement, the machine doing the process began to beep and flash red. "Danger!", it read. Dunston went to shut it off, but Caleb screamed, "No!" So, Dunston turned around and looked at the machines effects on Caleb. After about thirty seconds, the machine began to smoke. As Caleb screamed, his skin melt from his flesh. The machine was on fire now. The doctor extinguished it before shutting off the machine. He looked at Caleb's corpse. The once mighty leader of the Real Boy Squad was now reduced to a smoking skeleton with hunks of metal stuck to it. Dunston sighed before going to retrieve the helmet. He unplugged it and put his hand on the top to pick it up. He raised his hand up screaming. The helmet was so hot it had burnt his hand. As Dunston ran to a nearby sink to put cold water on his now swelling hand, something started to happen to the helmet. It's visor lit up with a dark green. Contained in about ten plastic bags placed in a box on the floor was about a million tiny black fibers. They all opened. The fibers all climbed across the floor to form an abomination against God. The poor doctor turned off the faucet and turned around. Standing there was a man made almost entirely out of the fibers, with a robotic head. "My God.", Dunston said to himself. "Goodbye Bill.", Caleb said before the doctor was engulfed.


	44. Chapter 43

Bob Moss' body hit the sandy ground as Caleb threw it around like a rag doll. It had been taking this abuse for minutes. Finally, Caleb stopped and raised Bob Moss by the foot to meet his robotic head. He had taken all of his fibers and put them together to create a gigantic thing. "How are you enjoying the ride?", Caleb said. Before Bob Moss could reply with a simple " _ **HOO**_ ", Caleb threw him across the desert. Bob Moss crash landed into the dunes as sand flew up into the air. After it vomited sand, Bob Moss stopped to think about what it had gotten itself into. A vengeful robot made of shapeshifting fibers was trying to kill it for it's past sins while it was trying to stop a Satanic cult in Epic Games from summoning the anti-Christ. Before it could think anymore, Bob Moss was whipped back into the air by Caleb. But after a few seconds, Caleb dropped him again. As Bob Moss looked up in horror, Caleb ejected most of the fibers from his body. He was now only seven foot and had a human shape. "Let's finish this.", Caleb said before he took some of his ejected fibers and formed a sword with them. Bob Moss mustered up some sort of courage and ran to face him, but Caleb took his sword and decapitated it. Caleb, using his new fast joints, quickly cut up the severed head in slow motion. The pieces fell onto the desert floor. Bob Moss was dead, as it's brain had been destroyed. Caleb was complete. He took his sword and stabbed himself in the stomach. But, nothing happened. Caleb looked down. The sword had passed right through him. He then realized that whenever he traded his mortal body, he had also traded his mortal death. Caleb fell to his knees and screamed to the sky before an electric shock containing more than 420,000 volts of electricity hit his metallic head. The head's visor then turned black and it along with the fibers feel unto the ground. Standing behind Caleb was an FBI agent holding a stun gun. He took a dustpan and swept up Bob Moss' remains before getting in his car and leaving Caleb in the sand.


	45. Chapter 44

Caleb woke up. He was in a dark, dark place. He was surprised to see that he was in his original human form. Before any of his "upgrades". A form he hadn't seen in quite some time. Suddenly, Caleb heard a voice beckoning him to move towards it. Caleb didn't really want to, but was compelled to do as the voice said. He walked towards the darkness. After minutes of walking, he suddenly stopped. " _caleb_.", he heard a voice say. "What are you?", Caleb asked. Suddenly, a pair of fibery arms reached out from the darkness and grabbed his shirt. " _im you_.", it screamed out before it pulled Caleb into the darkness.

Caleb was now in a 1960's hospital watching a woman giving birth. But it was not just any woman. It Caleb's mother. Beside her was a man Caleb had never seen before. He was tattooed and had a shaved head. The man was quietly smoking weed while his mother screamed in pain. Caleb assumed this was his father. Finally, the head doctor held up a baby boy. He then slapped him hard on the buttocks. Unfortunately for the child, it was near an open window. The child fell out of the doctor's hands and was turned into a splat on the pavement. "My baby!", Caleb's mother screamed out while the doctor was in shock. He then picked up the second child she had given birth to. "Well at least you had two!", he said enthusiastically. Caleb was tired of watching his stupid mother give birth. "Why am I here!", he screamed out. Suddenly, the room turned to darkness and he was thrown into another scene.

He was in another hospital room. His mother lay on a bed in front of him. He knew what this was. Suddenly, an eight year-old Caleb ran into the room and up to his mother. "I'm here momma, I'm here!", the boy said. His mother told him about how good he was. Caleb closed his eyes. He knew what was coming. The flatline came. The doctors came in and told the young boy to leave. He did as he was asked. Caleb then walked over to his mother's body. "I'm sorry.", he said as tears filled his eyes. Suddenly, his mother's bloodshot eyes opened. " _i thought i was stupid_!", she screamed before vomiting black fibers all over Caleb. Before he could react, Caleb was thrown back into the darkness.

Caleb was in yet another hospital room. This time it was the med-bay in the Real Boy Squad's hideout. Another Caleb was sitting in a chair while Trump was talking. "Mr. Blake should know how to attach it to you.", he said before leaving. Taylor then unpacked the suitcase to reveal a new metal arm. Taylor then turned to Caleb while holding the arm. " _touch it_.", he said. Caleb walked up to the arm and laid one finger on it. Suddenly, several images started flashing before Caleb's eyes. They were still pictures of him murdering things. Taylor, Trump, Jackson, and everyone he had killed appeared before him. Finally appeared Bob Moss, with his carved head resting in the sandy dunes. Caleb then finally saw the error of his ways and broke free of the voice's control. "w _ake up_.", something screamed in his ears as he descended into light.

Caleb's systems rebooted. He got up and started searching for Bob Moss' remains. But he couldn't find them. After realizing this, Caleb got into a fetal position and wept.


	46. Chapter 45

Caleb had heard Landon talk about Epic Games, so he decided to go there next. He was approaching the headquarters when he was jumped by two guards. As he faded from consciousness, he heard one of the guards say, "He shouldn't have come."

"Good day Mr. Ruby.", someone said to Caleb. Suddenly, Caleb's facial cameras began to work again. He was in a dark room. His body was locked hovering above the ground in some sort of force-field. Standing in front of him was a man wearing red, pentagram-filled robes. "Do you know me?", the man asked. "You're Tim Sweeny", Caleb started, "the dude who makes Fortnite." "Who I really am!", Sweeny screamed out. Caleb stared at the man in silence. Sweeny sighed before reaching for his face. He ripped off his nose, now revealed to be rubber, and threw it to the ground. He then began to remove other fake parks of his face. "Do you recognize me now?!", he yelled at Caleb. After a few lone seconds of thinking, the answer popped into Caleb's head. "The Nazi science dude?", he said. "Doctor List!", Sweeny screamed. "I'm Doctor List!" "How the frick are you still alive?", Caleb asked. To that question, all Doctor List did was smile.

 _November 20th, 1943_

Doctor List's dead body was wheeled into the room by the nurses. The doctor bent over to examine the body. List had been shot in the eye by an American handgun, a deadly blow. The doctor took his finger and closed his one remaining eye. He then got a bright idea. He walked over to a drawer near the side of the room and unlocked it. Inside was a syringe filled with a green liquid, the green creature's blood. They had managed to extract one sample of it from the creature while it was in their care. The doctor wondered what would happen if he where to inject it into a human body. He took the syringe and, holding it tight, injected it into Doctor List's bloodstream. He quickly pulled it out and waited for something to happen. But nothing did. The doctor sighed and threw the syringe in the trash. Wasted. Suddenly, List's eye opened.


	47. Chapter 46

Caleb awoke from unconsciousness. He looked around the room. He was still restrained and Doctor List was gone. Suddenly, Caleb fell to the ground as his restraints deactivated. Caleb looked up as a man with blue hair entered the room. Caleb immediately recognized the man as Richard Tyler Blevins, better known by his satanist Fortnite name Ninja. Caleb had arrested him one time for trying to steal Obama's N-Word Pass, and it looked like Ninja wanted revenge. He was holding a taser and was coming right for Caleb. "Wassup Ni-", Ninja began to say before he remembered that he failed to acquire Obama's N-Word Pass. As Caleb tried to escape, Ninja touched him with the laser, causing him to use control of the mechanical black fibers that control his body. Ninja then grabbed Celeb's robotic head and made a run for it. He closed and locked the door behind him, locking all of Caleb's fibers inside. "It's fun time!", Ninja yelled as he set Caleb's head on the table.

Caleb couldn't feel pain anymore, but Ninja didn't know that. He was hitting Caleb in the head with a metal bat, trying to make him suffer. "I've been broken with…", Ninja began, "I've broken up with some girls, you know, some guys." Ninja then stopped hitting Caleb in the head with a bat and thought about what he just said about his sexuality. Using this precious time he had, Caleb thought to his fibers locked in the other room. Conveniently across from Caleb at that moment was a monitor featuring the live footage from a security camera located in the other room. He then saw that located in the upper left corner of the room was an air vent that could be easily accessed by the fibers. He maneuvered the fibers up the wall to the vent and, because they are tiny, slipped inside without being noticed by Ninja, who was still staring into space due to him accidentally revealing his homosexuality to Caleb. Caleb's fibers then used the vent system to get to the room and rescue Caleb. "No, I was just kidding!", Ninja eventually blurted out to try and convince Caleb of his straitness. Suddenly, Caleb's fibers exploded out of the vent and attacked Ninja. Caleb thought about killing him, but decided not to. He then walked out of the room, only replying, "Thanks for the memories." He needed to stop Doctor List, as it was what Bob Moss would've wanted. If only it was still alive...


End file.
